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Why I Am Here : Testimony

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Oriana Pyavka
Why I’m here: Testimony Coming into bible school I was in a very confused and vulnerable place in my life. I felt no love towards nor from the people that surrounded and deep down I knew that loved me. But most of all I felt no love from nor towards the one whom I should have been loving the most. My heart did not fully belong towards the one who created it. I thought that reading the bible, attending church, and avoiding big sins was good enough. The reason I wasn 't satisfied by Christianity is because it wasn 't Christianity. I had religion, but I didn 't have Jesus. I knew what love was, but not the God who is love. Growing up I was told and taught to fear God but not in the way I should have. I was so
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I think that many of us have fallen and sinned so much and so often that the whole system of salvation and grace doesn 't really make sense. I mean how is it possible to recover from all the years of disobedience and thousands of sins made? The problem with me was that I couldn 't fully comprehend that the term salvation and forgiveness was actually created and meant for sinners like myself. I couldn 't understand the fact that I qualify for mercy. I couldn 't understand that what I need, I couldn 't possibly do anything to deserve it. I didn 't believe that someone as great as God would ever look down on me and love me. I didn 't think I was or could ever be worthy of such a love. One of my favorite quotes was once said by Thomas Watson “Jesus Christ went more willingly to the cross than we do to the throne of grace.” Every time I denied Gods love and forgiveness I was basically telling Jesus that what He did for me wasn 't enough. The pain He went through and the blood that He shed for me on the cross wasn 't enough. I was so stubborn and arrogant thinking that if only I do this and this right, if only I say this and this right, then maybe I could earn God 's love. I couldn 't comprehend that the type of love I
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