Why Women Stay In Abusive Relationships

“Domestic violence or abuse is about control” (Pisarra), the abuser has complete control over the victim this is the most abundant reason why it’s hard for a person to leave an abusive relationship. Both emotional and psychological factors keep the victim tied to the abuser. Sometimes situational realities, such as a lack of money, and lack of resources keep the victim from leaving. The reasons for staying in an abusive relationship will vary from one victim to the next, but they usually involve several factors.

Signs of abuse include, but are not limited to, controlling nature, resistant to chance, dismissive, and manipulative behavior. Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal state that the most telling sign of abuse in the relationship is fearing the other partner (Smith and Segal, 2006). If a woman is afraid of her partner then she may be in an abusive relationship. Men that are abusing women will tear her down and make her feel like she is worth nothing and that she does not deserve any better than an abusive man. An abuser will take away control from her and make her feel worthless. Segal and Smith also state that “abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you” (Smith and Segal, 2006). An abuser wants to make their victim afraid and they will do certain things to make sure that the victim does not leave. It is also noted that just because there are not any physical signs of abuse, such

I thought to myself why would you continue to stay in an abusive relationship for so long. Some people (victim or perpetrator) believe abuse is normal; they grew up in abusive homes. Some individuals stay in abusive relationships for financial support. “Violence perpetrated against women by a male intimate partner is 10 times more likely than violence perpetrated against men by a female intimate partner”. I would like to learn methods that people can use to prevent a violent relationship, and if there are any psychological correlation on why people decide to stay in those unhealthy relationships.

As stated previously, the victim might believe that the abuser will change for the better or they stick it out for the honeymoon/calm phase. However, there are many other motivators for a victim to stay in an abusive relationship. Victims in abusive relationships could have had a very tumultuous and abusive childhood therefore abuse is what they are familiar with and as humans we seek out what is familiar to us. Even if a victim is able and willing to escape an abusive relationship, things do not always begin to get immediately better. As stated before, the abuser wants to control and have power over the victim. So if the victim leaves, the abuser experiences a loss of power. This causes a majority of the abusers to begin stalking, harassing, and threatening the victim as a ploy to regain their previously held power over them. Once the victim has broken out of their abusive relationship their lives can actually be more at risk than when they were in the relationship due to the drastic measures that abusers may take to regain their loss of power over the victim. As stated by Injuryprevention.bmj.com, an international peer-reviewed journal for health professionals and others in injury prevention, one fifth of homicide victims with restraining orders are murdered within two days of obtaining the order and one third are murdered within the first month. Embarrassment is another key motivator for victims, especially males, to stay in an abusive relationship. The victim does not want to admit that they are being abused by their significant other for fear of seeming weak to their family and friends. It is very hard for men to admit that they are being abused by women as women are supposed to be stereotypically weaker than them. For those in same-sex abusive relationships, the victim’s family and friends might not be aware that they

Emotional- Emotional abuse is usually unrecognised and can be very hurtful to someone. Not all abusive relationships involve violence, just because your not bruised and hurt doesn’t mean you haven’t been abused. Men and women have been hurt from emotional abuse and are no less hurtful than physical abuse. Emotional abuse is when someone makes you feel your not good enough by being yelled at, name calling, blamed for things, made to feel shamed, isolated from friends or family, scared, trapped, and the feeling of being controlled. You may feel

They cannot hide” (Domestic Violence). Although counselors are close by, a teen may fear that revealing their abuse will not only slander their abusers reputation, but theirs as well. With nearly 1.5 million high school students experiencing physical abuse yearly from a dating partner (Love is Respect), this problem needs to be addressed in an appropriate classroom setting. Teens need to be taught the warning signs, and also how to handle an abusive situation. “Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications by putting the victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence” (Love is Respect). And with adolescence being an important time for a child to transition into young adulthood, being faced with an abusive relationship may put a chip in their development. As the future of the American nation grows, abuse should not be allowed to grow with them.

Aggressing: Aggressive forms of abuse include name-calling, belittling, accusing, blaming, threatening, ordering, and stalking. These behaviors are usually direct and very obvious. Through this behavior, the abuser undermines the equality and autonomy needed to have a healthy relationship. The relationship takes on a more parent-to-child pattern of communication. A more indirect form of emotional abuse can be disguised as “helping.” Abusers may use criticism, advice, probing, and questioning as a sincere attempt to offer their partner help. In some instances, however, these behaviors can be used by an abuser as an attempt to belittle, control, or demean their partner or spouse rather than to help them.

Physical violence is more evident as abuse, but emotional abuse can affect a human being just as much. Emotional or verbal abuse can eventually cause a person to feel depressed, helpless, lost, and alone. Although it is a little harder to identify emotional abuse in a relationship, the effects are just as serious as any other type of abuse. The effects of this cruelty can even cause a person to feel

The ultimate goal of this research is to reframe the understanding of why women, and men, will stay in an abusive relationship, which can then lead to more effective means of breaking the cycle and helping those who are victimized get out of such relationships quicker and more effectively. When it can be understood why a victim of domestic abuse stays, it is possible to better prevent them from returning to such behaviors after they seek assistance and therapy. The underlying cause of the desire to stay is the missing link between existing literature and the ability to better combat intimate partner

This goal was met. Women stay in abuse relationships for a number of reasons. One reason many women stay is because they are afraid to leave because of the threats from their abuser. Whether the treats are directed at the victim, their children or other family members, the threats are serious. Another reason many women stay in abusive relationships is because they have low self-esteem and feel they have done something to deserve the abuse. For the client I spoke to, there were a lot of factors that kept her from leaving. Because she was completely financially dependent on her abuser, she felt she didn’t have the resources to survive without him. She also felt that even though he was abusing her, her boyfriend was the only person who loved and cared for

“Belief that the abusive partner will change because of his remorse and promises to stop battering is a big reason why woman being abused don’t leave the abuser. Woman who are being abused stay with the abuser because that’s all they know.” (“Facts v.s Myths”).They do not know that they should leave the abuser because they believe that they deserve the abuse they are being put through. Abuse can start putting thoughts into the person being abused mind making them think that it is their fault and when that abusive partner comes home and starts yelling they automatically start to think that it is their fault.

Emotional abuse is verbal abuse, which doesn’t include any physical contact or harm. Which is another form of abandoning or failing to live up to a child's needs. Every child needs to feel wanted and appreciated, or their self esteem goes down and this causes them to feel distracted and not loved.

What is battering? Why do men batter? Why do women stay? These are all questions that I will answer. I will also offer insight into the minds of victims that may help give a better understanding to the devastating cycle that hides behind the doors of many homes today that is known as Domestic Violence.

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviours used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

     There are various forms of emotional abuse but they all contribute to the victim as feeling helpless and inability. One form of emotional abuse is verbal dominance. Meaning the victims opinions, feelings and thoughts carry no weight and are pretty much meaningless. A second form of emotional abuse is isolation, this occurs when the abuser limits the victims access to money, use of the car and other normal activities. The abuser also talks negatively about friends and family making it uncomfortable to maintain outside relationships. A third form of emotional abuse is guilt, this occurs when the abuser blames the spouse for his/her assaultive behavior with rationale, after a period of time the spouse blames self for the battering. A fourth form is fear; the abuser threatens harm to spouse, family or friends in order to stay in control of a situation. Finally a fifth form of spousal abuse is humiliation, this is when the abuser may put down the spouse in front of children, family and friends. (Wallace)