Questions for Peer Review and Answers

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University of California, Berkeley *

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130

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English

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Feb 20, 2024

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docx

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Uploaded by Brigadier_Tree_Lobster20

Questions for Self or Peer Review 1. What is this writer's purpose? How can you tell? The writer's purpose is to conduct a literature review on the effects of video games on psychosocial factors, exploring both positive and negative impacts. The writer also expresses a personal interest in understanding the underrepresentation of females in the gaming community. 2. Does the writer achieve this purpose effectively? Why or why not? What techniques does the writer use to help achieve the purpose? The writer effectively achieves the purpose by summarizing and synthesizing information from three scholarly research articles, presenting a well-structured review. The writer’s personal insights and their proposed hypothesis add depth to the exploration of the topic. Additionally, the use of clear headings for each study helps in organizing the content. 3. Identify any places where the writer's ideas are unclear. How could the writer clarify these points? There are no major instances of unclear ideas. However, the second study (Khanmurzina et al., 2020) could benefit from more details about the total number of participants and potential biases in the sample, the writer could clarify these points by adding these details to their literature review. 4. What is the writer's thesis statement (main argument)? Does the writer return to this argument consistently throughout the paper? If not, where does the argument start to unravel? The thesis statement is implicit but revolves around the exploration of both positive and negative psychosocial effects of video games. The writer consistently returns to this theme throughout the paper. 5. Where would you like the writer to have provided more information? I believe adding more information on the specific methodologies used in each study could enhance the review's depth. Additionally, details on the publication dates of the articles would

provide context for the timeliness of the research. 6. Are there any factual mistakes or logical inconsistencies? If so, where are they and why are they problematic? There are no glaring factual mistakes, but it would be helpful to include more details of the articles and statement of their thesis consistently. However, the logical flow is generally sound, with a clear progression from one study to the next. 7. Evaluate the writing itself. Is the paper easy to read? Are there particular grammatical issues that you noticed? How distracting did you find these issues? The writing is generally clear and easy to read. However, the second study's limitations could be stated more explicitly. The grammar is mostly correct, but some sentences could be refined for smoother flow, I would recommend using Grammarly or some other writing check platform to ensure this smoother flow. Additionally, the first page should include (in order) : Title, space, Student Name, Name of University, Class Name/Section, Professor’s Name, Date 8. Who is the intended audience of the paper? How can you tell? The intended audience appears to be researchers, and readers interested in the psychological and social effects of video games. The personal exploration of the underrepresentation of females does suggest an audience that includes those interested in gender dynamics in gaming. 9. Name two strengths of the paper. Was there a particularly memorable detail? The review is well-organized, with clear headings for each study, making it easy to follow. The personal touch in expressing the writer's surprise and interest adds a human element to the analysis, which I had not seen in any other literature reviews previously- although I am not entirely sure if speaking in first person would be allowed. 10. Name two weaknesses of the paper. Are there any strategies you can suggest to the writer to help him/her remedy these weaknesses?

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