Nilsson2 (1)
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Athabasca University, Athabasca *
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English
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Apr 3, 2024
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docx
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Uploaded by DeanBaboonMaster1044
Assignment 2: Paragraph Writing
Kayla Nilsson
Athabasca University
3500902
ENGL 155: Developing Writing Skills
Jo-Ann Foote
January 26, 2024
1
Reflective Journal Entry
I appreciate your feedback on my submitted essay regarding my academic writing skills and where it requires development. Given your response, my knowledge and understanding of punctuation, grammar, and paragraph writing have improved.
For example, giving each assignment a specific title, making stronger word choices, and correcting punctuation with coordinating conjunctions. Upon reading the chapters in Unit 2, I can identify my initial mistakes
and lack of paragraph structure and understand the proper format of paragraph writing. With that,
I am now able to understand the purpose of the various sections regarding paragraph structure and providing supporting evidence to back up my claims. Overall, I have great confidence that I can strengthen my writing skills with the help of your feedback as I continue throughout this course. Journal: 9/10 Thanks for letting me know my feedback is useful. I, too, believe you will find your writing skills improving as you continue through the course.
ENGLISH 155
CONTENT: 24/30
ORGANIZATION: 22/30
GRAMMAR AND MECHANICS: 25/30
STYLE: 7/10
GRADE: 78%
Your paragraph contains interesting points; however, further work is needed to develop a cohesive paragraph that more effectively reflects your voice rather than a string of indirect quotations that are somewhat difficult to differentiate from your wording and the reference.
For a short paragraph, you shouldn’t use more than one quotation, which should be used to support your ideas rather than have a string of indirect quotations form the bulk of the content. Please see the following links for detailed information on integrating quotations into the text. 2
INTEGRATING QUOTATIONS INTO THE TEXT OF YOUR ESSAY:
http://www.sps186.org/downloads/basic/70125/Integrating_Quotations_into_Sentences.pdf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlGBQroaik8
https://awc.ashford.edu/PDFHandouts/Integrating_Quotes.pdf
You should review signal phrases, as described here: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/using_research/
quoting_paraphrasing_and_summari zing/signal_and_lead_in_phrases.html, https://www.iup.edu/writingcenter/writing-resources/researchand-documentation/mla-style/signal-
phrases/, and https://writingcenter.gmu.edu/guides/signal-phrases
.
The main role of signal phrases is to control the readers’ understanding of whom or where the information is coming from, as well as controlling where your ideas begin and end, enabling you to remain the controlling voice of the essay.
For this paragraph, you would have a more effective paragraph if you had omitted references and developed your viewpoint, only using a quotation as it supported your position.
This paragraph is a very good starting point for your work on academic writing and when to use source materials. Often, students lean so heavily on sources that their writing becomes meaningless – the reader might as well go read the original sources. Keep in mind that professors will state they want anywhere from no more than one-third the length of an essay to be from references to as low as no more than ten percent of an essay to be quoted material. In this paragraph, one or two specific examples might be more effective than your indirect quotations that detract from your writing style and voice.
A good start but further editing would strengthen your voice and paragraph development!
Jo-Ann
Note that I have used the comment function to insert my responses. If you cannot see my comments, you may need to turn that function on. Click on the “review” tab at the top of the page and CLICK ON SHOW COMMENTS.
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