READING RELECTIONS

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Freed-Hardeman University *

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230

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Philosophy

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Oct 30, 2023

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Uploaded by Kne08

1. Andy Stanley says that instead of giving his sons the traditional “fifteen-minute talk” (about sex), what did he do? Instead of a 15 minute talk, he decided to have a 15 year conversation with his son. He did this because he did not want his son to forget everything by the time he actually became interested in it. 2. What TV show was Andy’s son watching with his mother when he had to mark on 3” x 5” cards every sexual innuendo he heard on that episode? The Office- I have never seen this but it surprised me! 3. Why does the author refer to himself as a “confession magnet”? He calls himself this because he is a pastor in a large congregation so even people who have not met him think they know him. People start telling him deep things in the middle of a mall when he may not even know their names. 4. Stanley believes there are really only three of four life narratives. What do you think he’s talking about? I think he is talking about how in general people have a relatively similar life story that can be put into 3 or 4 sections. He does not think people's stories are unique. 5. What does Stanley mean when he writes, “While it’s true you’re exceptional, you are not an exception”? We cannot make excuses for our actions thinking we are in a unique situation that allows for it. 6. What do you know about the health of Andy Stanley’s parents’ marriage? His in-laws' marriage? We know that his parents got a divorce after a marriage that was not ideal. Oppositely, he says his in-laws seem to be just as in love as when they first met. 7. What does he mean when he says he has never met a couple who actually had a “marriage” problem? He means that post problems were already there before the marriage. He says these things are avoidable. People are getting married and not addressing their own problems first and then both their problems crash together.

8. What is “The Right Person Myth”? (Hint: You need to read this one carefully. It may not be exactly what you think it is.) The myth is that once you find ‘your person’ everything will be perfect and great. 9. What is the current divorce rate (as of 2014 when this book was published)? (Hint: Get used to finding and reading footnotes.) 50%! (for 1st marriages) 10. Finish this quote: “You are sexually compatible with . . .” …far more people than you are relationally compatible with” 11. In what way does Stanley say sex is like glue? You should not have sex until you are ready to be with someone permanently. 12. “Focalism”? What’s that? Focalism is when your brain focuses on one thing and fades out everything else. 13. What is his opinion of the “maybe a baby will help” solution to marriage problems? It is a bad idea. 15% of married couples divorce within 3 years of having a baby. Children are not a solution.

READING REFLECTION 2 1. In simplest terms, what is a boundary as Cloud and Townsend use the term? ‘Boundaries help us to determine who is responsible for what’ You know what you need to fix. 2. What do the authors mean when they say, “Responsibility also involves action”? When we are put in the driver's seat, we are responsible for fixing the problem within our boundary. Change doesn't happen with us just sitting around. 3. How do boundaries help us realize our freedom? Through boundaries, you have the freedom to try to make your life better. You get to make choices, respond, and limit behaviors. Allows options to open up. Love exists in freedom. 4. What are permeable boundaries? Give an example of a permeable boundary in your life. Permeable boundaries keep the bad out but allow the good to come in. One of these for me is social media. I want to allow the good I gain from social media to come in but do not want the negatives to infiltrate that. 5. Explain the statement, “Boundaries are basically about self-control.” I think boundaries about self-control really press on to holding yourself accountable for things you will or will not do or stand for. Since you cannot control others, it is about keeping yourself responsible for the things you have set. 6. What did Stephanie ultimately learn she had to take ownership of? She took ownership of her feelings, attitudes, desires, and choices and she took them to Steve. This led him to do the same. 7. Describe a relationship in your life that could use some work on boundaries. I want to take more ownership of some of my friendships. I want to be more confident, less doubtful, and more intentional. 8. According to Mark Yarhouse, both “liberals” and “conservatives” focus too much energy on what single question or issue is related to homosexuality? How does Yarhouse propose we respond to that question or issue, at least in this chapter?

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