Arranged Marriages Compare And Contrast Nnaemeka And Okeke

Arranged marriage is found in various cultures and countries around the world, including Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East; having an arranged marriage is thought of as an Afghani tradition and has been a part of life for many families. The practice of arranged marriage has advantages and disadvantages; it can create more family power and give more financial security. Sadly being forced into a marriage can disrupt the independence of the engaged, most women stop their education when they become engaged resulting in many women being illiterate. This makes it impossible for them to be successful without depending on their husbands. Arranged marriage is found in many cultures throughout the modern world, though in a lot of cases it results in a happy family it can also be very limiting on women and often girls are married before they can give consent.

For many people, an arranged marriage is not a great choice to choose a life partner, but it is highly recommended in Hindu culture. In the speech “Finding Love in Arranged Marriages” on Tedx Talks, Omar Durrani shared, like other people who have Hindu religion, he was put under pressure to have arranged marriage by his mother. She believed in arranged marriage, which marriage comes first and love comes after marriage. She contacted matchmaker service to find a suitable woman for him. The matchmaker found many women who were interested in Omar, but Omar was not interested in any of them until he heard about one woman that her mother found for him. Although he did not believe that arrange married would work for him, he still agreed to start talking on the phone with the woman. Surprisingly, he found that they shared many common interests. Finally, they decided to meet each other, so Omar took a flight from Miami to Chicago for the meeting. The first feeling they had for each other was that they made for each other. They engaged in the next day after the first meeting and married one year later. Like Omar’s family, most Indian people prefer arranged marriage since they believe that will be the best to start their marriage life. Arranged married may be a short or a long process that depends on each situation. While love marriage is found when people love each other and get married, arranged marriages happen when parents decide who will be their children’s life partner. People with Hindu religion believe that arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages since of its typical features of the process of selecting a life partner.

The evangelists are very accepting, as they take in the osu, outcasts from the clan. They offer salvation along with freedom, which Nwoye has been searching for for a long time. However, because of Nwoye’s action, Okonkwo disowns him. Later, when Obierika goes to visit Okonkwo, he finds that “Okonkwo [does] not wish to speak about Nwoye.” Moreover, Okonkwo tells his other children that “if any one of [them] prefers to be a woman, let him follow Nwoye” (Achebe, 172). Okonkwo then asks himself how he could have “begotten a woman for a son” (Achebe, 153). According to Okonkwo, Nwoye has become weak because he has joined another religion. Since Okonkwo believes he is the most masculine man in Umuofia, it is unbearable that his child turned out to be such a failure. This unbearable change in his family creates a ripple effect of events that become worse and worse for Okonkwo.

The Christian church had finally won him over with their answers to questions he had been asking his whole life. All that was left was to cut the ties with his old life, with his father. But his father was the one to make the first move. After learning of his sons visit to the church Okonkwo grabbed him by the throat in a misguided search for a reason why. “Nwoye struggled to free himself from the choking grip” (page 151) Even when he has fully lost his son to the new religion, Okonkwo still tries to use violence to mold his son into what he perceives a man should be, which illustrates the nature of their relationship. It had always been fueled by anger on Okonkwo's part and fear on Nwoye's. It takes people screaming at him to let his son go for Okonkwo to finally give up, but this attack was the last straw and he was finally able to free himself of his father. "But he left hold of Nwoye, who walked away and never returned.” (page 152) Though Okonkwo did not learn from this experience, Nwoye did. He learned that his father's violence and anger could no longer control him, and that there was an escape available, though it was an escape to another culture that he most likely did not fully believe in either but at the very least, this one did not have Okonkwo. "Nwoye did not fully understand. But he was happy to leave his father."(page 152) Okonkwo's goal had always been to make Nwoye 'manlier' as he was afraid of the shame having a feminine son would

Okonkwo treated his son and daughter very differently. The child-father relationship between Okonkwo and Nwoye was a distant and strained one while Okonkwo exhibited another type of feeling towards Ezinma which is filled with care and concern. This was due to the fact that Nwoye “was already causing his father great anxiety for his incipient laziness” whereas Ezinma was thought to have the “right spirit” and “alone understood [Okonkwo’s] every mood”.

When Okeke learns of his son's engagement he completely shuts down as a result of his anger. He refuses to even meet his son’s fiance and refuses to speak to him for the following eight years. During that time he receives a picture from his son’s wedding, and returns the picture but cuts out Nene, a gesture which seems quite harsh and unnecessary. However, he finally lets up towards the end of the story when he receives a letter from Nene about his grandchildren. He begins to regret the years he has spent separated from his family and shows a wish to try and make it up to them. This part of the story validates that Okeke does care for his family despite his rude behavior. The most significant evidence however, is when Nnaemeka's tells Nene about his father. He says that Okeke is “essentially good natured” and that he will come around in regards to their marriage. This quote is important because Nnaemeka is likely one of the few people in the world who knows Okeke best. His description of Okeke suggests that he is usually a more kind and reasonable man and that his harsh behavior towards the couple was not typical of him. This makes him a complex character because harshness and good nature are two contradicting qualities. While his refusal to speak to his son and his rude reaction towards their wedding photo, portray Okeke as bitter and easily

These consequences include long periods of time without relations with his father and his tribe. His father and tribe, in a sense, disown Nnaemeka as he chooses to leave the narrow path of tradition and follow the broad path of the switch to modernization. This leaves both parties distressed as both hit an emotional low point. Both wish to portray parts of their individual lifestyles and share it, only to find that the beliefs contrast greatly. Change occurs when Nnaemeka’s father, Okeke, decides that the views should not block his relation with his son and grandchildren and reveals that he takes back Nnaemeka after an eight year period of reproach.

Okonkwo considers Nwoke to be weak, lazy and is more feminine than masculine. He feared that Nwoke will turn out to be like Unoka so, “he sought to correct him by constant nagging and beating” (11). Achebe shows that Okonkwo wants his son to be strong and fierce like him, but when this was not the case he feels that harming Nwoke will teach him. Though instead of the punishment helping Nwoke become manly, it had a negative effect on Nwoke leading him to fear and resents his father. In addition, the small relationship they had was completely broken when Nwoke finds an interest for the Christian religion. When Okonkwo hears that Nwoke is among the Christians, he gets furious and disowns his son because he does not want Nwoke to join the church . Likewise, when Obierika ask Nwoke how his father is he answers saying, “I don’t know. He is not my father” (124). This shows that instead of working out their different opinions they fought and in the end tore their relationship apart. One can not miss the reality that if Okonkwo was kind and not hurtful towards Nwoke tun he would have stayed with the Ibo culture. If this was the cause then the father and son would have had a better relationship. In the end the reader can conclude that Nwoke and Okonkwo’s relationship failed because of the actions and feelings they had for each

Nnaemeka’s actions in marrying outside the ethnicity are revolutionary because he is causing a dramatic change in what was believed to be right by Nnaemeka’s people. Revolutionary means to act in a way beyond traditional principles. Therefore, Nnaemeka is exhibiting a breaking of tradition. The society Nnaemeka grew up in expects their young to grow into

Nnaemeka explained to Nene in their room about the marriage tradition of Ibo’s and how they tend to take priority of arranging the marriage,”Yes. They are most unhappy if the engagement is not arranged by them… you are not even an Ibo.” (Achebe 986) This shows that Nnaemeka is afraid to confess to his father about the marriage, because he knows that his father will disapprove of anything that is not arranged by him. His father in turn is a figure with power that influences Nnaemeka’s actions by fear. Therefore, he is uncertain whether or not to keep the marriage secret from Okeke. Nnaemeka reluctantly told his father but unfortunately received numerous signs of disapproval that he was frightened of,”It amazes me that you could be so unfeeling to send me your wedding picture… But on further thought I decided just to cut off your wife and send it back to you because I have nothing to do with her…” (Achebe 990) This shows an example of what Nnaemeka feared would happen between his father and his marriage with Nene. Nene was brought to tears by this action of Okeke and had in mind that he would never come to accept her as his son’s wife. Okeke played a major role in disheartening Nnaemeka to make the decision of telling his father of Nene. Nnaemeka knew that Okeke would go against his choice of marrying Nene and

Arranged marriages occur all over the world and in some parts it is popular or compulsory and in others not so admired. Most

Nwoye’s resentment of his father stems from multiple issues, but Nwoye’s conversion to Christianity was symbolically his separation from his father. Okonkwo was also the embodiment of their Ibo culture, which Nwoye found morally questionable after the deaths of the twins and Ikemefuna. Ezinma – “‘You have not eaten for two days,’ said his daughter Ezinma when she brought food to him. ‘So you must finish this’” (63). Ezinma and her father, Okonkwo, have a very close relationship.

A few good things about arranged marriage is the spouses can feel closer, know much about the other people, don't get divorced, and they can feel comfortable around them.

Okeke was an old man who lived in the rural areas of Africa, whereas his son lived in the cosmopolitan area of the city in Lagos. In Africa, people are segregated by different tributes, which cultures and mindset conflicts. As a result, some tribes show flexibility while others display strict traditional values. The countryside where Okeke lived had strict traditional values where two different tribes could not marry each other, “…when it comes to marriage, its not quite so simple… is not

This differentiates from a love marriage because love marriages start with the foundation of love and admiration, then the couple learns to commit. However, arranged marriages are based on the firm foundation of commitment and then the couple learns to love each other. Goodale writes, "We'll come to accept that we can 'work' on marriage and love" (3). Arrange marriages also differentiate from a forced marriage, which is a common misconception of this type of marriage. Many perceive that an arranged marriage occurs when the couples are married against their will, and the parties involved provided no consent to the relationship. This paints the negative mental photograph of a forced marriage, not an arranged marriage. Despite this illusion, arranged marriages have the potential to gain a role and