How Skills Can Be Divided Into : The Being And The Doing ( Mehr & Kanwischer )

Chapter eleven presented several skills that can be used to start, build, and maintain interpersonal relationships with people from our daily, professional, and personal lives. I thought that all of the listed skills could be very useful and helpful in an interpersonal relationships but felt that there were a few that aren't really necessary when communicating. In my opinion, social decentering, providing support, and listening actively in order to respond effectively strike me as the most important relationship strategies. I believe that the most valuable skill to have is social decentering because it gives you a better understanding of how others will feel and think. This skill is needed to appropriately adjust you're behavior so that you can effectively communicate with others based on you're knowledge of that specific person. This will allow you to predict that person's behavior and reaction to certain situations.

2. What knowledge, skills, and values do you already have that help you form an effective helping relationship?

The skill I am going to discuss is self- monitoring. According to Interplay, The Process of Interpersonal Communication, self monitoring is best defined as, “The process of paying close attention to one’s own behavior and using these observations to shape the way one behaves” (24). This definition means that when you have a conversation with someone you listen closely to what they are saying, but you also pay attention to yourself in order for you to modify your behavior accordingly. By being aware of the way I communicate towards people both, verbally, and non-verbally gives me an effective way to deliver an understanding message.

I am also very strong at developing and maintaining rapport (See Figure 7). I look for connection to people as soon as I meet them. I like to learn where they are from, their age, and their

Interpersonal Communication Competence is defined as constantly communicating in a way that is effective, appropriate, and ethical (McCornack, 2016). When a person is communicating competently, they are following social norms, are able to accomplish their goals, and treating persons in an unbiased manner. In my paper I will be discussing my own interpersonal communication competence and the evaluations that I, and my close companions, have made about my ability to communicate proficiently. I will begin my essay by explaining what effective and appropriate communication consists of, and follow up with my argument on how effective and appropriate I am in my interpersonal relationships. As I continue I will examine my empathy and why I am strong in this aspect of communication, followed by my deliberation of my conversation management and why I am weak in this category and how I could possibly improve. As I near the conclusion of my paper I will focus on my interpersonal communication motivation, knowledge, and skills. After reporting my scores in each category I will reflect on my skills, my lowest score, and explore why I am poorest at this quality and how I can grow in my capabilities. Overall I am a competent communicator, but enhancements can be made in my conversation management, effectiveness and skills in order to build up my competence.

Having a genuine character means to always stand for the truth, to have compassion and respect for others, and to commit fully to the position you have accepted. In my family, we are called to live out a life that includes kindness, honesty, humility, and perseverance. These characteristics guide me through my day-to-day

For my first goal, a deeper understanding for empathy will be the most useful. My goal was to try to control negative and angry reactions during conversations with other people. When communicating with others, I should be practicing empathy and trying to place myself in their position. When I do that, I am less likely to become angry or frustrated with them because I know that I wouldn’t want someone else to become angry with me when we are having a conversation. I am more aware of the types of listening and I know that I should be listening empathetically. When listening empathetically, “the goal is to build a relationship”, which should be my goal when communicating with anyone (Adler & Sevigny, 2015, p. 194). If I focus on building and maintaining my relationships, I will not react negatively or get angry. Instead, I’ll be more inclined to practice the right types of listening and responding to ensure that the conversation is effective and

capacity to be genuine, honest and real and avoiding the need to act as an

Verbal skills are perhaps the most important interpersonal skill. This includes clarity of speech which shows that you know what you are talking about and have passion for what you are saying. Staying calm and focused is also important as this will mean you can work under pressure and will show other skills such as commitment and patience. Verbal conversations will be more effective face to face rather than on the phone or over email as the listener will be able to identify emotion in a person’s voice as well as they body language. This will allow a person to interpret the

Managing and interpreting your relationships, according to Bevan and Sole (2014), is one of the functions of nonverbal communication skills. Nonverbal communication contributes almost 80 % of human interactions and can easily make or break relationships if not well understood. Therefore for an individual who wants to be able to manage and interpret their relationships, has to have

Relational abilities will take me so far in life in the event that I know how to convey successfully and in an expert way. Individuals need to understand that in the business world knowing how to impart in an expert way is the thing that they need to see. Nobody needs to contract somebody that is ghetto or doesn't know how to converse with each other. Keeping in mind the end goal to take care of business, we will dependably need to impart in some sort of way. When somebody interacts with me, I need their initial introduction to wow them. I need them to realize that I recognize what I am doing and will deal with them to the best of my capacity, all while keeping them up on what is going ahead in an expert way.

The interpersonal skills that I currently have to be successful in my new position are the ability to read a persons non verbal language. It is easy to distinguish how a person is feeling by the way that they react to a situation. I have learned that not making eye contact and fidgeting or playing with their clothing, hair, or hands is a good indication they are not being fully honest. I also know first hand that different people react differently when being accused of behaviors they did not partake in. This is something that being a mom has helped me achieve. I am able to tell just by simply looking at my children when confronting them in different situations whether they are telling the truth. I am also able to

Capable of building rapport this can be done with being a good observer of body language and non

construct a conversation you are able to get greater insight into what the person really

As for the first pair of qualities, honesty and support, it manifests itself in the situation. How the advice is taken is dependent on the present circumstances, rather than on relational context. For example, if someone were to ask to be “brutally honest,” this does not constitute perpetual honesty; instead, it allows a temporary period during which being