Marriage Problems - How to Save Your Marriage From Collapsing
By Dr Kingsley Modozie | Submitted On December 13, 2007
Recommend Article Article Comments Print Article Share this article on Facebook Share this article on Twitter Share this article on Google+ Share this article on Linkedin Share this article on StumbleUpon Share this article on Delicious Share this article on Digg Share this article on Reddit Share this article on Pinterest
When you discover you have a marriage problem is the first step to transforming your marriage but for some couples acknowledging that they have a problem shatters the marriage myth. Looking at the aspect of love movies, stories and fairytales we are required to live happily forever. Whats the way
…show more content…
They first step to saving your marriage is to avoid following your issue on a case by case basis. Husband and wife that try to solve quarrels by judging the small details of every quarrel are never going to get the large matter resolved. I am based on the issues that truly matters in your marriage and the problems that keeps on coming whenever their is an arguments.
You spend too time at work, couples feeling unappreciated, never make love as long as they previously used to, either of you having the feeling that you are unfulfilled by your relationship or lifestyle, is the interaction weak in your relationship, does you want your right override by the feelings of your partner. I will like to tell you to spend more time examine the issues and themes behind your arguments and worry less on the details.
If the issue is your job then it means that the gap behind this is the balance between work and home which means you take work responsibilities more serious than the family issues which should be your number one .If the issue is that you are not doing enough chores, the gap behind this is that you are being invited into making a deeper contribution into coupledom. If the issue is your partner being grumpy with you all the time, the gap is your partner needing to feel validated in the relationship. If you are able to get a deeper understanding of what
This list is just basically an example of what kinds of conflict a marriage can face; however, there are also strategies that the Bible discuses repeatedly and are ones to be followed to help a person create a healthy bond between a couple. The six strategies are: observation of the conflict; confrontation of the problem being open and honest; having ownership, grief, and apology of the conflict; repentance of the sin that has been committed; being active in the process for necessary change; and reexamination of the conflict, marriage, and boundaries (Cloud & Townsend, 1999).
The second part of Franklins advice is equally crucial. Marriage is all about being forgiving, overlooking, and staying positive. The first is very critical when it comes to being in a marriage. Being forgiving is pretty much the same as being tolerant to towards one another. The dictionary definition of being tolerant from Oxford Dictionaries says that being tolerant is “showing willingness to allow opinions or a certain behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.” This definition explains why a lot of individuals who are married experience frustration towards their spouse. In many cases the person you are involved with will have a certain behavior or interest that the individuals you associate with won’t always agree with, but just because they have those certain behaviors or interests that others can’t seem to grasp doesn’t mean that it is going to ruin or even be the slightest bit harmful towards your marriage. A good example of this is say you are married to a man who has a habit of going to his favorite bar after work to have a drink. He
Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).
Division is prone to occur in a marriage situation in case of a divorce. For the married partners to embrace endured togetherness and unity in their marriage, they must appreciate common interests of concerns in their practices. In case one of the partners dissent from the unity and togetherness set up, the marriage is susceptible to division brought about by breaking of the legal bonds that hold the marriage partnership in unison. Continued lack of an amicable compromised solution between the two conflicting partners will thus lead to separation. Continued separation will see the two partners seek a divorce in a court of law and the marriage will fail completely. Most marriages nowadays are failing as a result of continued disagreements of interests between the married couple. As per words of Lincoln that a divide house cannot stand, thus the divided marriage partnership cannot even endure survival thus it breaks up.
Unshared perspectives can be a huge issue in many marriages. Having different views on things usually lead to arguments. While arguing, the other is usually tempted to say something that they do not necessarily mean and that hurts their partner. In the article "The most frequent cause of divorce" it says, "Sure, there are more modern reasons as well as career, one partner wants children the other doesn't (the choice is what's new), different religions (such as Muslim and Christian) and finding neither wants to change." This is a prime example of unshared perspectives. career, children, and religion are all topics most couples would disagree on that could cause many arguments. Also, to know
In a husband and wife relationship communication is key, without communication there is room for deceit and rumors to do nothing but distance or even turn the couple on each other. Compromise is also extremely important in order to have a successful relationship, otherwise the relationship will be tense and neither person will be content with the relationship. Fairy tales will often center around a toxic marriage that causes nothing but grief to the wife, the husband, or even both because of that missing communication and compromise. In a criticism piece by Walter Benjamin, he writes on how “sometimes the value lies in a moral; at other times practical advice is offered; and occasionally there is a proverb or maxim” (Benjamin 358). The value
A common reason couples break up is when one partner has more decision-making power than the other. When one person usually makes the decisions about activities, friends, financial matters, household matters, and holidays the relationship can become unstable (Pawlik-Kienlen, 2008, p.1). Many partners
For example, the recipients of repair are those who intend to repair or resolve the issue. The repair can only work between the couple depending on the amount of intimacy and friendship that already exists in the relationship. These two factors are then be used to build the first stage of what they call a love map. One of the fundamental characteristics of the friendship between two individuals is the intimate open ended questions asked by this person and the memorization of the answers. Another characteristic witnessed in the laboratory was the attention given to the partner speaking, for example results showed that those partners who paid more attention to their partner while he was trying to communicate or make a joke were those who continued to be married for a longer period of time. Overall it can all be summarized in seven steps that will allow a relationship to flourish, and those are: enhance your love map, nurture fondness and admiration, this means that it is imperative to be able to remind yourself about the worthiness your partner possesses. The third step is turning toward each other, by giving your partner the attention they crave you are acknowledging their presence and making them feel how important they are to you. The fourth step is to let your partner influence you, by giving each other the respect in decision making for a happy marriage, it
Being married is a union where you are both trying to help each other grow, so never give up on each other. Keep the faith, run with faith, and love will conquer all things. God will give you the strength to endure whatever may come your way with any situation or problem in your
This book’s most important theoretical claim is the seven principles that will make marriages work and Four Horseman of the Marriage Apocalypse that will make your marriage fail. The seven principles included Enhance Your Love Maps, Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration, Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away, Let Your Partner Influence You, Solve Your Solvable Problems, and Overcome Gridlock Overall. The Four Horseman include Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Also included in this book is are excises that the partners can do together or that the reader can do alone in order to actually apply the science and theories
Recommend Article Article Comments Print Article Share this article on Facebook Share this article on Twitter Share this article on Google+ Share this article on Linkedin Share this article on StumbleUpon Share this article on Delicious Share this article on Digg Share this article on Reddit Share this article on Pinterest
Two common pressures that can tear at marriages are the demands of careers and the demands of children's schedules. In today's society we see much less emphasis placed on "family first" and more focus and energy going into carrier demands and activities. We work hard and we play hard.
Rather than giving up and ending the marriage, many couples could save the marriage by trying to work through the problems that arise. Many people do not realize how much hard work has to be put into a marriage for it to be successful. When planning a wedding, some couples spend a lot of time preparing the vows that will be exchanged during the ceremony, but sadly the partners fail to live by the vows day after day. Scores of married couples drift apart because their hectic lives do not allow them to spend enough quality time together, which is important for a healthy marriage. Communication is also an essential factor in working through problems in a marriage.
Recommend Article Article Comments Print Article Share this article on Facebook Share this article on Twitter Share this article on Google+ Share this article on Linkedin Share this article on StumbleUpon Share this article on Delicious Share this article on Digg Share this article on Reddit Share this article on Pinterest
Suppressing thoughts and emotions creates a subconscious tension in the mind, and it is possible that this tension causes a new argument in the future. However, as the research by Carnstensen, Gottman, and Levenson (1995) states, older couples have learned to let the other person retain their beliefs and opinions. This behavior allows them to achieve a happy marriage, unlike those couples which respond aggressively to differences in their personal opinions. However, this research does not state why people introduce possessive and dominant behavior in their relationships. This behavior can only lead to arguments and negative emotions in a marriage.