Marriage should be between two individuals that love and share a passion together. Arrange marriage, which is the arrangement of a marriage by the parents of the bride and groom. The concept of arranging marriage is called “Omiai” in Japan and in India they are called “Love, Marriage.” Arrange marriage is based on the norms of society, have their own views on love, and nations are feeling the repercussion of arranging a marriage in a negative way.
Love should be the most important when decided if you are going to marry a person. Love is feeling a deep romantic or sexual attachment to somebody, but arrange marriage takes the purpose of that away and turned it into something that benefits that family wealth and status in society. The Japanese are no exception to the popular belief that “loveless” arranged marriages succeed because love is such a fleeting sentiment anyway and fades away with time (professor’s house, 2014). That is the way that the Japanese justified that arrange marriage tradition. True love is never supposed to fade, true love is supposed to last a lifetime and beyond. That is what Disney movies have been teaching kids since they were young, you find your soul mate and live happily ever after.
The people in India way of looking at arranging marriage is to also overlook the love factor and based the marriage on commitment and hope for later on that the love will surface during the relationship. The way of dealing with the subject is to say “a lifetime to learn
In North America, people will argue that love needs to happen before marriage but, historically, this is actually a very new notion. Mr. Smolinsky was in shock when his daughters wanted to marry for love. He asked his wife if they even looked at each other before the engagement and she replied, “’Maybe if I had the sense of my daughters in America, I would have given you a good look over before the wedding’” (76). This implies that if she had the choice, she would have married for love or perhaps a different man at least.
Most of the time, if not all, the decisions we make concerning marriage are based on the concept of “romantic love”. Most young people tend to believe the only
If one does not require a marriage for their love to grow or even transpire, then why do it at all and for what purpose? With a look at “The Arranged Marriage” by
In the past, Arranged marriage was very common, and still is in some countries in the world. Arranged marriage is when parents choose a spouse for their sons and daughters. According to Gagoomal (2009), “Arranged marriage is broadly defined as unions in which people other than the bride and groom, typically parents or other family members, play important or decisive roles in determining who marries whom.” (p. 590). Asia and The Middle East follows this tradition and believe that marriage should come first then think about love. Some people believe in love at first sight, however, others believe that it takes time and patience to love someone and develop a relationship with them. Arranged marriage leaves their child with no choice but to marry the person they picked out for them. This may also be referred
Throughout time arranged marriages were the norm in several societies. In the comedy, A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare, Hermia is in love with Lysander, but her father wants her to marry Demetrius. She escapes into the woods with Lysander. Just like Hermia, many people around the world are forced to marry someone that their parents choose for them. Love marriage vs. Arranged marriage is always a debated topic. While there are instances of love marriages working out, there are arranged marriages which are successful too. Both have their pros and cons. And it is just the world around us which makes us support or be against a love marriage. Arranged marriages are based on the understanding of two families. The parents of the bride or groom get to pick their future partner. On the other hand, love marriages are more of an independent choice between the bride and groom. Giving them the freedom to marry someone they know and admire. There are different customs and traditions that are followed in different societal set-ups. Arrange marriages lack love and respect between husband and wife. Arranged marriages are a social injustice. They deprive individuals of their choice. Marriage is a commitment of two people who have made a vow to love each other till death. In the essay I will be debating the pro’s and con’s of arranged and love marriages.
The couple can find happiness through compromising and commitment. A secure, sustainable marriage does not only need love, but it needs the multiple pillars of family approval, secure support system, and shared values cemented on the foundation of commitment. A marriage is the grand beginning of a new family and a starting point to assist generations move forward and develop. Due to this multitudinous number of points, arranged marriages should be strategically integrated into the modernized culture of the United
For the marriage may never last because of having no emotion connection within one and another. Having no love in a relationship can cause many damages for one and another. The damage may cause both people to commit something that he or she may never tend to do. “The interviewees declared that marriage and couple's relationship may not work if there is no love between husband and wife. They considered necessary free choice of partners based on the feelings to a successful marriage”. (Maria del Mar Pastor Bravo et al. / Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences 132 (2014) 564 – 569). Love is a big key into marriage; you can’t just marry someone who you’ve never met or someone who you can’t have a conversation with. Love and communication are two keys into a marriage. “All respondents said that the common way to marry these days is by eloping. The basis of these elopements is viewed as love, affection, or attraction between the couple”. (Allendorf, Keeral. “Schemas of Marital Change: From Arranged Marriages to Eloping for love.” Journal of Marriage & Family 75.2 (2013): 453-469. Education Source. Web. 26 Apr.
then we choose to marry. But what happens when that love dissipates? In the Indian culture marriage is first a commitment then getting to know the person you are set with its not based on connection. Studies have also shown lower divorce rates in India due to arrangement of marriages. I still like my freedom of choose to pick my own mate to say. What we think is the wrong way of living or not ok to be forced into marriage is looked at in other cultures like in India it’s a way of
If there is no love found, the couple is left in an unworthy relationship. In arranged marriages, the couples are not able to understand each other very well before the marriage and also not aware of the likes and dislikes of one other. In love marriage, the couples get to know each other ahead of the commitment. When speaking of love, love has to be developed in an arranged marriage, as they will only know each other better after the wedding. In a love marriage, the couples have been together long enough to get to know each other before the marriage, so they have always been in love, and there is no need to develop it. Another problem in forced marriages, is that men are always more dominant than the women. No one seems to be dominant person over the other in a love marriage. This is another reason that women are more likely to be abused in an involuntary marriage. According to a New Delhi psychotherapist, abuse is found more in arranged marriages rather than love marriages. Considering these factors, it is evident that love marriages cause greater serenity over the troubles that come along with a forced
Constant fights also occur in love marriages due to lack of sufficient equality or shared values from both partners. This in mind, the couples do not have time to dig deep into each other leading to insecurities (Duggi 174). Cases of rash decision for marriage happens when the endowment is brought to the table, convincing their parents to agree to approve the marriage irrationally. Furthermore, the rush gives both partners limited time to know each other, and in the future bringing out an excuse for divorce, based on inequalities form both partners. In contrast, arranged marriages are not rushed and require approval from several people on both sides before proceeding. When it comes to weddings, love marriages tend to be the exact opposite
My parents had a choice to marry for love, but, unfortunately, their parents did not. Imagine the world where family members or close friends chose your spouse based on their expectations. Should this be the way to go about marriage, or does this hinder a person’s ability to live for themselves? In India alone, around 90% of marriages are arranged by their families (CNN). They would choose who ever they believe would best fit the person, but not necessarily love them (Queano). Although arranged marriage is a custom in many countries, is it the right thing to do? People deserve the right to choose for themselves whom they will marry. Marriage is about love and finding the right person that makes you the happiest, rather than someone who’s just there for your benefit.
Arranged marriages are an insult to the nature of marriage. Marriage occurs when two people have fallen in love and want to live the rest of life together. Each person chooses the other from the result of love. An arranged marriage has a different story. According to I Love Relationships, an internet article that gives relationship and marriage advice, an arranged marriage is described as a type of marriage where the parents decide for the bride or groom on who to marry and the one marrying has no say in the process. A love connection does not exist in this situation. Marriage is about a couple discovering a love for one another and creating a family based off of that love. “In many arranged marriage cases, the couple rarely knows each other before the marriage” (Arranged Marriages;
The institution of marriage sets back thousands of years. When first originated, marriage had nothing to do with love or kinship. Families would marry off children and young women to strengthen alliances, promote strong family ties, and even for money. It wasn't until the last few centuries that marrying for love became popular. That even came after years of more arranged marriages with women having little say so in who their potential life partner would be. In today's time couples wed when they're in love. With genuine love taking the precedent over dowries, very few countries allow arranged marriages and they are frowned upon in many cultures.
Marriage is defined as legal or religious union of two person in which they live together. There are different kind of marriage but mostly arrange marriage and love marriage is talked. “In many cultures, marriages are arranged by the parents, sometimes with the couple having little or no say. Such arranged marriages are often found within societies with a high degree of hierarchy and awareness of social rank” (BOOK). People often say arranged marriage are highly traditional and renowned, protect values and so on but what about in the life of bride and groom? Will they be happy protecting values and culture? Thus, Arranged marriage is a bad decision because they lack a freedom to choose and interference from extended family, lack of trust, understanding and love is not a first priority, and social problem.
In love marriage both individuals feel more secured and comfortable as they know each other well and are also aware of strengths and weakness of each other. And they do not find any difficulty or anything new in their life after their marriage.