Men's Double Standards

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

Men are treated vastly differently than women. For example, men are expected to not show their emotions. In “why men don’t last” by Natalie Angier, a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter, she described how even when men are young boys they have their emotions shamed out of them by their parents and their peers (Angier 1011). In “The War Against Boys” Christina Hoff Sommers, a writer of several books, wrote how men have it imprinted on them at a young age that showing your emotions is a sign of weakness. Men are also taught to be self-sufficient and not ask for help (Sommers 1061). For example, there were many times when I was in school but needed help. I never asked because I always wanted to think of myself as self-sufficient, that I did not need the help from my teacher and I could figure it out myself. Now, of course, I realize how dumb that was that there is no shame in asking for help,

The first difference is how they listen to people talking. Women love to make “listener noises such as ‘mhm,’ ‘uhuh,’ and ‘yeah.’” They do this to show “I’m with you” (Tannen332). On the other hand, men listen in silence. When men are silent it usually is because they are trying to interpret the information. Another reason for a men’s silence is when they go into their “cave” because they are upset or stressed. Women misinterpret a man’s silence and they imagine horrible things such as “he hates me, he doesn’t love me, he is leaving me forever.” A women’s silence means what she’s about to say is going to hurt them or she doesn’t want to talk to them. If they can realize they have different ways of communicating then there wouldn’t be many worries or

Men and women view things very differently, and they socialize differently. It is often hard to straighten out misunderstandings because each one feels that his or her logic is the correct logic. “adult men and women struggling to communicate often sound like children.” (Tannen 441) The author convinces us of her argument by using scenerios between men and women.

Moreover, men make all the major decisions in the household because they know more of what is going around the city, then women do. Also, they went to school and are smarter. Women should not be able to vote and make the wrong and illogical decision because they don’t know what is going on around town. Men only want to protect women from the harsh and cruel world. Unlike women, men are emotionally stronger and are capable of facing danger.

Men do have different ways to respond to different situations than women, and it is

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

To truly understand the problem, Tannen reveals that one would have to understand the different personalities in both men and women and how they act. Tannen illustrates that boys have a personality that most girls don’t really understand. She reveals that, “Boys are based on less talking, and more on doing things together. Boys’ groups are larger, more inclusive, and more hierarchical, so it makes them struggle to avoid the subordinate position in the group” (Tannen 409). She emphasizes that this could very likely be a reason why women complain that men don’t listen to them. Men don’t really like to listen, because it makes them feel low and unimportant. In the case for women, women are more talkative than men. “For women, intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven” (Tannen 409). To women, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Women like to express their feelings more and get support from their listeners. In her experiment, with second and sixth grade boys and girls, she observed how girls tended to share stories and talk about the problems they had. The boys, on the other hand, would tease, tell jokes, and talk about many topics over the period of time. The boys had a tendency to jump from topic to topic many times. However, women see this as a sign of not listening

In a relationship it is very damaging and unhealthy to be controlling and wanting to be the one in charge all the time. Most of the time it is the women who want the control. Wuthering Heights and The Tragedy of Macbeth both have women that get the men to do exactly what they want.Women are very controlling.

In “Sex, Lies, and Conversations: Why Is It So Hard For Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” the author, Deborah Tannen, argues that both genders have different ways of communicating between each other. She states that males are more to the point and want to find the solution quickly, rather than talk it out and get all of the details about it like females do.

     Most males have a tendency to think that they know best. A man will never stop at a gas station to ask directions from a local resident in a town that he has been lost in for two hours because of course he knows his way around far better than the local ever would. He will find his way eventually even if it takes him the

Men see women as mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters. They are used to women being submissive to them, and doing whatever is asked of them. Think about not having a say in life, or knowing people will not take an idea serious because

This may be because of the socialisation men receive when growing up. It is argued that men and women are socialised differently as children. Women are essentially expected to conform to norms and values that society impose on them: they are generally considered by society as the weaker and passive sex, labelled as a mother, a carer and are expected to be a conformist, deferential and diligent. Girls may be brought up to fear violence inflicted upon them whereas men are often socialised differently in that they are brought up to oppose it if threatened. Men are encouraged at a young age to be competitive, aggressive and sexually

But does it really matter who wears the pants? Men and women get into a relationship to love unconditionally and to support each others goals in life. In a healthy relationship, no one should be considering who wear the pants. Relationship isn’t about one side giving while the other isn’t receiving and giving back. Women may seem emotionless, controlling, and aggressive, but as successful women may be, they would still want their man to be wearing the pant of the relationship. Men often do not want to be controlled by women during the relationship. But in some situations, men will ask for your permission, does everything you request, and be spoken up for; he actually values your ideas

The emotional differences of men and women vary in temperaments of emotion which indicates a disconnection in communication, moral motivation, stereotypes, and chemical reactions in the brain.