Positive Reinforcement During Times Of Abusive Relationships

William, Rachel’s three year old son is crying standing over her as she is slowly regaining consciousness. Her boyfriend, Daniel, was gone; their bedroom door was left cracked open and Rachel was on the couch in their room. Pained around her neck from where he choked her, she tries to wrap her head around how she got to this point. Why does Daniel hate her? What did she do this time? Can she, should she, just leave with William? Rachel realizes she has to get out of the house before Daniel gets back. When she arrives at her mother’s house, her mom is alarmed. Rachel has bruises around her neck and marks around her hairline. Rachel’s mother tells her “You come here every week and you go back to that monster every week. I see these bruises but you must not feel they are a problem since you keep going back to him.” Rachel’s mom walks out of the room frustrated.

A victim’s mind does not enter into an abusive relationship the same as it, hopefully escapes. Most people are familiar with the honeymoon stage of a new relationship, the excitement, infatuation and methodical self-disclosure that most, if not all people experience and engage in. The gradualism of an abusive relationship is one critical piece of a frightening puzzle.

The Brigham Young University, lists the steps towards successfully eliminating the abusive factor in a relationship. First, understanding what an abusive relationship is like, and detecting whether you are currently in one. Secondly, supporting one’s dignity and acknowledging the importance of an abuse free household. Margaret E. Johnson focuses on the inner self structure. Realizing the problem, understanding the plausible consequences, acknowledging that the second party is wrong, and not letting their own self-worth go down, are just the tip of the iceberg in abusive relationships. In the other hand, being manipulated, going to court, divorce/ separation, are factors

Women and men with low-self-esteem tend to be afraid to start over or walk away from the things they have built with their abusive partner, so they attend to except a lot therefore they become victims of explosive conflict. Most women and men hold on to their partner in hopes that they will change therefore they have to walk around as they are walking on hot coals, in hopes that they won’t set the bad temper individual off. In this case a lot of physical and mental abuse takes place.

Growing up as a child one of my family members was in an abusive relationship and sadly my aunt was not the only receiving the abusive her child had to deal with it too. Her husband would beat on my aunt sometimes and say cruel things to my aunt and her daughter, which ultimately made the daughter grow up with many insecurities. After being in the abuse relationship for years she finally found the coverage to leave him. Abuse can come in all different forms there are physical abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Sometimes it is hard to notice when abuse is going on within the relationship and when the victim finally notices the relationship is toxic they find it hard to walk away. In the short story "Sweat" by Zora

Healthy relationships involve a variety of different aspects such as respect, trust, and consideration. Unfortunately, some relationships aren’t meant to be healthy and they often turn to abusive relationships. Abuse can be physical, emotional and or sexual. Physical abuse are seen in various ways such as punching, kicking, choking, and or any other form of physical violence intended to hurt the other person. For a person who has experienced an abusive relationship it may be difficult for them to describe those particular feelings and the pain that they’ve gone through. One of the most important and original poets of the twentieth century is known as May Swenson and In her poem “Bleeding” she addresses the important issue that is recurrent in society; she embodies her personal life and illustrates the theme of abusive relationships, and it lets us as the audience gain a deeper understanding of the relationship between an abuser and victim through the significant use of symbolism, form and personification.

The abuse is usually frequent enough that the victim internalizes it. This leaves the victim feeling fearful, insignificant, untrusting, emotionally needy, and unlovable. Survivors of this form of abuse have a hard time understanding why they feel so bad (Munro, K. 2001.).

While I know what a healthy relationship consist of, it made me realize that even more women than I originally thought are probably victims of an abusive relationship. There are some women that I work with now or over the past few years that everyone in the office thinks their spouse is a “jerk” or that they deserve better but never really thought of them as a victim. A lady that I worked with recently would have to call her husband and talk to him during her lunch hour because he believed that she was cheating on him. He would also control what she wore and would not like when she would have make-up on. Her spouse would think she wore make-up to attract other men. I knew the way he would treat her was not right but never once thought she was involved in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships to me are relationships in which one is forced to participate in unwanted sexual advances or activities and physical abuse such as hitting, chocking etc.

The IDD measured the duration, severity and the presence of symptoms using a 22-item self-report. The IDD in this study was not used to diagnose a major depression just to measure the severity of the symptoms (Pineles, et al, 2014). This results from the high level of stress and constant fear experienced in abusive relationships (Pineles, et al, 2014). Furthermore, most cases show that victims experience a combination of abuses such as financial and physical, psychological and financial and verbal emotional and sexual (Pineles, et al, 2014). Therefore, victims often dwell on the demeaning factors of their abusive relationships which negatively affects their self-esteem and self-worth (Pineles, et al, 2014). Victims tend to blame themselves

Domestic violence is a very important social problem that we must educate ourselves on because it has such a profound and negative effect on the individual(s) being abused. They are affected mentally, emotionally, physically, and I know from experience that the scars can run very deep. Being in an abusive relationship for three years was devastating to my self-image as a teenager, and because of these feelings of inadequacy, my decreasing esteem allowed me to stay in such a dangerous scenario. Healing from the negative effects of that relationship has been a difficult journey for me, and I can only imagine how much more difficult it must be for women abused for years on end. To this day, I struggle greatly with the ability to let go of my own "control"

Toxic people have ways of pulling others willingly into unhealthy relationships without raising any obvious red flags. They know how to make the other person feel that every mishap is their fault while steering the blame away from themselves. Many people believe that those who are caught up in an abusive relationship allow themselves to be the other’s doormat, but the truth is that it happens regardless of how confident or smart the abuser’s partner is.

The authors acknowledge various concerns of need of further study (see Reed & Enright, 2006, for discussion). Two concerns that stand out are the small sample and the limited ethnic diversity. Not addressed by the authors was the lack of research regarding males who experience, as recipients, spousal emotional abuse. There could be very different implications for males. It would be of interest whether forgiveness therapy would be as effective for males. In addition, even with follow-ups completed, it would be beneficial to have additional follow-ups at 5 and 10 years. This would allow more evidence of efficacy.

I heard you say that a client seeking counseling for being an abuser could benefit from adding cognitive therapy to their behavior therapy. The cognitive therapy would help with the client distorting thinking. I agree with you the cognitive therapy will help the abuser to create a change in their thinking, which will lead to a behavior change. I found the abuser schema therapy (AST) to be an effective in changing a client behavior. This intervention focuses on the abusive situation and behavior in the beginning of the therapy; which will help to address the ethical issues of proving early behaviors strategies in reducing abusive behavior (Smith, 2011). This therapy could help increase communication and assertiveness skills, as well a change

Being in a relationship with a significant other can either benefit or bring someone down emotionally. For someone in a relationship with an abusive significant other they will not be emotionally stable. Whenever a young adult is in an abusive relationship they can become accustom to

Welcome to my blog, Perfect Love. Throughout my blog posts, I will discuss my personal experience with an abusive relationship, how to realize that you are in an abusive relationship, and how to leave. Aside from using my own personal experiences, I will also add credible sources to my posts.