The Causes Of Abusive Relationships

Relationships are about respect and love towards one another but when the disrespect falls into the picture everything falls apart. Disrespect can be either verbally or physically and many of those who have fallen into this type of abusive relationship tend to have barriers on leaving that significant other. In most cases, fear has been the main key factor on why these victims tend to stay within the abusive relationship. Even though fear has been the main factor but there are other factors that run through a victims mind constantly. Victims are afraid they, themselves or their loved ones will get extremely hurt or be killed by these batters. Besides getting hurt, the victim fears that the batter will take away his or her child leaving them

There are certain groups of individuals that appear to be most at risk of abuse than others, and therefore more vulnerable. Vulnerable adults can be abused in different ways for different reasons.

Signs of abuse include, but are not limited to, controlling nature, resistant to chance, dismissive, and manipulative behavior. Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal state that the most telling sign of abuse in the relationship is fearing the other partner (Smith and Segal, 2006). If a woman is afraid of her partner then she may be in an abusive relationship. Men that are abusing women will tear her down and make her feel like she is worth nothing and that she does not deserve any better than an abusive man. An abuser will take away control from her and make her feel worthless. Segal and Smith also state that “abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you” (Smith and Segal, 2006). An abuser wants to make their victim afraid and they will do certain things to make sure that the victim does not leave. It is also noted that just because there are not any physical signs of abuse, such

A victim’s mind does not enter into an abusive relationship the same as it, hopefully escapes. Most people are familiar with the honeymoon stage of a new relationship, the excitement, infatuation and methodical self-disclosure that most, if not all people experience and engage in. The gradualism of an abusive relationship is one critical piece of a frightening puzzle.

Women and men with low-self-esteem tend to be afraid to start over or walk away from the things they have built with their abusive partner, so they attend to except a lot therefore they become victims of explosive conflict. Most women and men hold on to their partner in hopes that they will change therefore they have to walk around as they are walking on hot coals, in hopes that they won’t set the bad temper individual off. In this case a lot of physical and mental abuse takes place.

As stated previously, the victim might believe that the abuser will change for the better or they stick it out for the honeymoon/calm phase. However, there are many other motivators for a victim to stay in an abusive relationship. Victims in abusive relationships could have had a very tumultuous and abusive childhood therefore abuse is what they are familiar with and as humans we seek out what is familiar to us. Even if a victim is able and willing to escape an abusive relationship, things do not always begin to get immediately better. As stated before, the abuser wants to control and have power over the victim. So if the victim leaves, the abuser experiences a loss of power. This causes a majority of the abusers to begin stalking, harassing, and threatening the victim as a ploy to regain their previously held power over them. Once the victim has broken out of their abusive relationship their lives can actually be more at risk than when they were in the relationship due to the drastic measures that abusers may take to regain their loss of power over the victim. As stated by Injuryprevention.bmj.com, an international peer-reviewed journal for health professionals and others in injury prevention, one fifth of homicide victims with restraining orders are murdered within two days of obtaining the order and one third are murdered within the first month. Embarrassment is another key motivator for victims, especially males, to stay in an abusive relationship. The victim does not want to admit that they are being abused by their significant other for fear of seeming weak to their family and friends. It is very hard for men to admit that they are being abused by women as women are supposed to be stereotypically weaker than them. For those in same-sex abusive relationships, the victim’s family and friends might not be aware that they

The cycle of abuse starts when an individual is abused and then the perpetrator feels regret. The guilt leads the perpetrator to ask for forgiveness and engages in positive behavior towards the victim. The victim does not leave the abuse because he/she “perceives few options and feels anxious terminating the relationship with the abusive partner, feels hopes for the relationship at the contriteness of the abuser and does not call the police or file charges.” In addition, after the victim forgives the perpetrator the couples experiences a honeymoon stage. During the honeymoon, stage the victim is optimistic about the relationship’s nonabusive future. After the honeymoon

It is also known that domestic violence usually increases in frequency and intensity. Research has shown that about 2 to 4 million women will experience some kind of domestic violence each year in the United States, and about 23% to 34% of women will experience domestic violence in their lifetimes. This aggression towards women results in physical injuries, physical health problems, psychological disturbance, and, in some cases, death.

“Belief that the abusive partner will change because of his remorse and promises to stop battering is a big reason why woman being abused don’t leave the abuser. Woman who are being abused stay with the abuser because that’s all they know.” (“Facts v.s Myths”).They do not know that they should leave the abuser because they believe that they deserve the abuse they are being put through. Abuse can start putting thoughts into the person being abused mind making them think that it is their fault and when that abusive partner comes home and starts yelling they automatically start to think that it is their fault.

Explanations for abusive and controlling relationships have been describe between the Stockholm syndrome and London syndrome. Stockholm syndrome and London syndrome are psychological disorders that developed due to hostage taking.

Women are victims of intimate partner violence at a rate about 5 times that of a male. Black females experience domestic violence at a rate of 35% higher

These are just some reasons that victims stay in an abusive relationship. Most of the time the victims have no access to finances, has no way of supporting themselves, and has nowhere to go if they did decide to leave. The abuser has complete control over the victim’s life. The victim can also be terrified to leave the relationship because of the fear that the abuser’s behavior will become more violent and may end in their death. Victims can have mixed feelings about the abuser and want to believe that the behavior will change. They may have religious beliefs that do not support, divorce which keeps the victim in the relationship. Sometimes victims will convince themselves that despite the abuse, it is better for the children if they live in a two parent home. Victims usually fear that if they leave, that they will lose custody of the children and the children will suffer. There are various reasons that victims feel trapped or remain in an abusive

Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose. It is used to gain and maintain total control over the victim. An abuser does not play fair and it is game that they will try to win at any cost. Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and the victim under his or her thumb. If more people recognized the signs of an abuser or the signs of a relationship that is in trouble, help can be sought after

There is a cancer plaguing the land, and it is slaughtering the very fabric of every relationship in its path. This cancer is abuse. One may ask, what is abuse, or what does an abuser look like? Particularly, this cancerous condition is not discriminatory against any social class; hence, an abuser can be of any race or gender. Abuse comes in a myriad of forms, and its aftermath has a negative impact that is unending. However, the most prevalent ones perpetrated in relationships are verbal, emotional, and physical.

According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, the abused stay in domestic relationships due to fear, embarrassment, low self-esteem, love, and believing that the abuse is normal. For me, these are all true.