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The Effects Of Violence On Children 's Memories

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It is often not the specific acts of violence that remain in children’s memories but it is the fear, the terrorization, and control that was or still is part of their everyday lives’. If children cannot foresee violence it is likely that children will remain alert and always on their watch, continuously distracted by the possibility of violence (Saunders 1995:46).

“It was depressing. My mother was always on edge, cringing around….and I was frightened as well, every time he was there, thinking, oh, what’s he going to do today, is he going to knife her what?”
(Child, in Abrahams 1994:33)

McGee (2000:71) found that children’s fears manifested themselves in a number of ways, most commonly as: aggression or other behavioural problems, nightmares, bed wetting, nervous demeanor, speech problems, irrational fears and altered behavior in the presence of the abuser. Speech problems, although evident in majority society, are common in south Asian children coping with domestic violence (Mullender et al 2006:150). Perhaps children who are facing communicating in two languages find it all too much. Or there may be a connection between the imperative placed on children not to talk outside the home. However, this is only speculation more work is needed in this area (Mullender et al 2006:151).

Children’s fears of what violent men may do are not typically erased as soon as they escape the situation. It takes time for children to rebuild a sense of security.

“Constantly on edge.

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