The pronouns “who” and “whom” are often confused with each other. While it is acceptable to use who and whom interchangeably in some cases, there are instances when synonymous use of the two words would be grammatically incorrect. As confusing as it may seem, understanding when to use “who” and when to use “whom” isn’t all that difficult. Knowing one simple rule that applies to their usage is all it takes to avoid confusion. Also using a grammar checker can help identify incorrect usages of ‘who’ and ‘whom,’ ensuring proper grammar in writing
Who and Whom Usage Rules
The rule: “Who” functions as the subject of a sentence, and “whom” functions as the object of a sentence.
In other words,
“Who”:
- Refers to the subject of a sentence
- Is used when “who” is performing the action.
“Whom”:
- Refers to the object of a verb or the preposition
- Is used when “whom” is receiving the action.
Another easy way to remember when to use “who” and “whom”: if the question can be answered with a “he/she,” then “who” should be used; if the question can be answered with “him/her,” then “whom” should be used.
Examples:
- Alexie was dancing at the party.
The sentence above can also be written as: She was dancing at the party. (Note: “She” is used in such cases, and never “her.”)
So the question would be: Who was dancing at the party?
So, he/she/they → who.
- I met Jameel in 2016.
The sentence above can also be written as: I met him in 2016.
So the question would be: Whom did you meet in 2016?
So, him/her/them → whom.
When to use “Who”
While it is okay to use “who” and “whom” interchangeably in some sentences, there are scenarios, which are listed below, in which “who” must be used instead of “whom.”
Questions
Whenever a question is being asked, “who” is usually used instead of “whom.” “Whom” is used only in case someone is being formal.
Examples:
- Who made these wonderful cookies?
- Who ate my lunch?
- Who are you going to the prom with?
- Who was the girl you were talking to?
- Who took my stapler?
Reported Clauses
Subordinate clauses that indicate what someone else said or thought are called reported clauses.
Examples:
- She asked me who I was.
- Jane told me that the police are trying to find out who killed the mayor.
- Rupert asked me who my prom date was.
- Gomez told me that it was George who ate all the cake.
- He asked me if I knew the professor who was at the party.
Relative Clauses
Clauses that give related or specific information about something or someone are called relative clauses. Such clauses come after nouns or pronouns and are accompanied by relative pronouns such as “who,” “which,” or “that.”
Examples:
- Alexander Fleming is the man who discovered penicillin.
- My grandmother, who was 99, passed away last week.
- This is my friend Maryanne who I went to school with.
- Jack was the one who warned me against going to the protest.
- My uncle, who is 60, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
When to use “Whom”
“Whom” is used when someone wants to be polite or formal. Also, when “whom” is the object of a preposition, the preposition always appears in front of “whom.”
Examples:
- With whom did you go to the party?
- Whom do we contact in case of emergency?
- By whom was the car driven to the garage?
- The man, with whom she was stuck in the elevator, looked suspiciously at her.
- To whom it may concern.
Although “whom” is sparingly used in casual conversations, it still is an important part of modern day writing and speech. It is therefore important to know the difference between “whom” and “who” to avoid misusing them or using them as each other’s synonyms.
