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Ap English Language Rhetorical Analysis

Satisfactory Essays

Hello Rozhnaz! This writing looks better than the previous one that I revised; congrats! You also gain improvement in terms of the use of academic vocabularies in this essay. Some notes to be considered here are the minor things such as punctuation, redundant expression, and capitalization. Here are several takes on your writing:

"..so many several reasons."
"In my opinion, I think.." You can omit the first three words as all the phrases in this sentence have a similar meaning. For example: "I think..."
I have a suggestion for the revision of sentence "t is clear; if a physical pressure is put on.." as follows:
It is clear that a physical pressure could be harmful to the children development.
"As well as, (what do you mean by this phrase?

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