“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.” -George Levinger, 1976 In 1977, George Levinger, a successful psychologist who specialized in close relationships, conflict, and group behavior, examined interpersonal relationships and what is needed to make one successful. He defined a successful close relationship containing five components; 1) frequent interaction, 2) between spatially near partners, 3) who share significant common goals, 4) exchange personal disclosures, and 5) care deeply about one another. His definition of interpersonal relationships is one part social, one part physical, and three parts psychological. Although I agree with the components of his …show more content…
For example, perhaps in 1977 Levinger’s five components of a close relationship would have resulted in a successful marriage between two partners. Today, however, with increasing stressors such as children, money, and other everyday problems, a marriage could easily fail. Another variable that differs from Levinger’s definition of close relationships that has changed in the recent years, is the ability to form and continue a strong, close relationship without having to be physically close to the other person. With the astounding technology that we have today, people now have the ability to make friends and meet partners over the internet. With websites for social networking, online dating services, chatting face-to-face over a computer screen, and instant messaging, a close relationship can now be formed and continued over the internet without physical interaction. As long as there is frequent interaction involved two friends, or partners still have the ability to maintain a relationship. For example, a high school graduate moving off to college can now communicate on a daily basis with their best friend from their home town. They even have the ability to see and hear their friend’s voice. When asking the thoughts that my father had, who is now 52 and widowed after 27 years of marriage, about Levinger’s definition of a close relationship he completely agreed with his five components until I mentioned
Human beings have been developing interpersonal relationships, which are characterized by close interactions between two people or among a group of individuals (Longres, 2000). Research has established that the closest interactions among persons are found within family because they act as the smallest social units across the world. While people develop interpersonal relationships for various purposes, it is difficult to nurture and maintain such interactions. In fact, the desire to relate inter-personally is based on social commitment factors such as mutual love, inference and business relationships, among others (Longres, 2000). Laws, customs and/or mutual accords control associations, but they are founded on
This is a book that puts forward what it portrays as seven rules that can guide couples toward a concordant and durable relationship. The book endeavors to expose a number of what it portrays as myths about marriages and also why they fail. The ideas in this book are definitely coming from the most appropriate channel due to the fact that Gottman, being a professor of psychology and the director and founder of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, has carried out studies on the routines of married couples in remarkable detail through the span of numerous years. The seven standards Gottman sets out are for the lovers to improve their love maps; sustain affection and admiration; move in the direction of each other rather than away; allow their partner impact them; take care of their solvable issues; conquer gridlock, and make shared meaning. Direct in their approach, yet significant in their impact, these standards show partners new and amazing techniques for making their marriage work. These principles help couples concentrate on each other, on focusing on the little everyday moments that when hung together, make up the absolute entirety of any relationship. Being attentive to customary matters gives life partners a strong foundation for settling dispute when it does happen and discovering techniques for living or coping up with those issues that can 't be settled. (Gottman, 2015)
There are over six billion people on Earth today. Each of those people has countless relationships, which extend further into an immense network of relations among thousands of individuals. These relations can be romantic, professional, unconditional, mutual, or the strongest of all, friendship. Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism.
As stated in our text, various factors can bind married couples together, such as economic interdependencies, legal, social and moral constraints, relationship, and amongst other things. In the recent years some of these factors have diminished their strengths. The modern generation sees marriage in a different perspective altogether. Individuals today feel they are stable independently, they do not need to rely on their spouse for emotional or financial support. Many are career driven and soar to conquer their dreams over settling down with a family. Such untraditional views have increased divorce rates.
Mary Anne Fitzpatrick is the developer of the three original types of marriage. The three types include; Traditional marriage, Independent marriage, and Separate Marriage. When she was studying, she noticed that not every couple was the same, and that age played a factor in it as well when it came to categorizing couples in what type of marriage they are. “Couples can be differentiated on the basis of their “independence,” the extent to which they share their feelings with one another. Some couples are highly interdependent, depending on their partners for comfort, expressions of love, and fun. Other couples are more reserved and do not depend on their partners for emotional sharing and support,”(345). This shows Fitzpatrick’s theory of different types of marriage is true and each couple is different form another and that they should be put into different categories and not just one.
With the research study of John Gottman (1954), he observed 2000 couples. He indicated that “marital success at least five to one ratio of positive to negative interactions.” While with stable marriages, more than five times of instances were couples of “smiling, touching, complimenting, and laughing, then of sarcasm, criticism, and insults.” Gottman conducted that don’t look at how in love a couple is, look at the one’s that “refrain” from putting down their other
In a developmental perspective of relational dynamics, communications researcher Mark Knapp, developed a model of relation stages. In Knapp’s model, he included 10 stages, within 2 broad phases, “coming together” at the beginning of the relationship and “coming apart” at the end. The first phases encompasses the first 5 stages, the last phase includes the last 5. However, other researchers have suggested that a third phase, “relational maintenance,” should be included. This stage encompasses the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh stages. These ten stages are as follows.
Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).
Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’
Unhealthy Relationships “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” (Weaver). As nationally acclaimed author Fawn Weaver suggests, a successful marriage is based on the mutual infatuation within a couple, as well with the longevity of newly found love that is found in the premature ages of a relationship. Although it may not always be the most easy thing to do at all times, a healthy marriage should consist of the ceaseless admiration of the two through smooth as in rough.
Numerous amounts of people are opting out of marriage; they feel that because marriages end in divorce anyways, they shouldn’t even try. Carefully, Feldhanh emphasizes slight changes that will help decrease divorce rates such as being college educated; he also mentions how cohabiting might increase the possibilities of divorce. Uniting in marriage too young is also a factor in these high divorce rates, and it is recommended that couples marry after their mid-twenties in order to increase the possibility of reaching their twentieth anniversary. There lacks a perfect equation to make a marriage work, but simple and small details make a difference (pp.
Aside from all of the marital bliss, it is reported that the first two years of marriage can be very challenging I that all of the romance and courtships fades and couples are more inclined to notice the decline in marital quality (Wilson et all,. 2014). Not only does the first few years the stage and build the foundation for a life conflict resolution styles are formed, and hobbits or behaviors develop that could have a positive or negative implication on the marriage (Huston, 2001). Karnay, 2010 suggested that many newly wedded couples lack the ability to effectively resolve problem within the first few years of marriage.
Chapter 7: The Human relationship is unique in many ways. There are people who we have the relationship by blood, and there are people who we choose to be with. The family came by birth; we cannot choose who our parents and siblings. People we met at work is the other group of people that we cannot choose. However, we can choose who our friends are and who will be our partners. "Being in intimate relationships involve exposure at times to strong emotional experiences that include hurt, fear, sadness, anger, jealously, loneliness, and love..." (Butaney & Chates, 2014).
However it is not as simple as that. Levinger (1976) felt that the likelihood of a marriage surviving depends on three major features. The first factor depends on the attraction of the relationship being either emotional security or sexual fulfilment while the second factor emphasises
The most essential idea to see about closeness that I read In this section was one determinant if closeness which is self-exposure. Self-exposure comprises of fair, uncovering messages about the self that are deliberately coordinated towards others. Uncovering correspondence contains data that is by and large distracted by means of different sources. 2. The most essential idea to see about double dealing that I read about in this section was lying. Untruths have the possibility to incite a social emergency, particularly if the substance of the data lied about is huge. 3. The measurements of closeness are, enthusiastic, physical, scholarly, and shared exercises. The measurements of separation are, withdrawal, evasion, held, shortening connection,