preview

Interpersonal Conflicts In A Relationship Analysis

Decent Essays

My partner, TJ, and I have been together for over five years and have faced many transitions during our relationship. From being long distance to moving in together, then later moving across the United States while continuing our personal goals and continuing our education to advancing our careers. Although we have been together for many years, we still find ourselves working most towards our communication skills due to the conflicts and arguments that are caused from the high stress of transitions and trying to focus on ourselves. While being aware of the balance needed to keep our relationship strong, we have learned that holding back from expressing what we feel from each other is not an effective strategy. The interpersonal conflicts that …show more content…

It was something that caught both of us off-guard and we were unable to define how to feel at that moment, other than anxiety. We were both extremely focused on our education and careers, so having a new experience was not something we were capable of grasping at that time. We were currently experiencing issues but avoiding them in hopes that they would disappear, but we did come to an agreement on keeping the baby until later I experienced a miscarriage. As for the feelings that were not able to be communicated during the beginning of the announcement of my pregnancy, I was incapable of expressing how hurt I felt from the miscarriage which distanced mine and TJ’s relationship tremendously. I became resentful and defensive over conversations and actions that were not relatable to the defined problem, and I would aim blame towards TJ with hurtful “you-messages” and walk away during a conflict to avoid my emotions from being seen by face. Our unproductive conflict strategies grew into more unproductive conflict strategies of silencing, where neither of us was able to deal with each other’s emotions without assuming that someone would lose control and say things that were unable to take back, which lead us to continue our avoidance of each …show more content…

We productively scheduled a time where we would both be free from work, school, and had the house to ourselves to discuss where we stood with our relationship. We focused our attention on the facts of our problems: our lack of communication, the stress that we both face daily, the loss of a child, and holding back from allowing each other to know how we feel. We actively focused on the current problems rather than the built-up emotions that lead to us losing control and we took turns listening to each other, empathizing on what we were feeling at that moment. If we had difficulty expressing ourselves, we would ask questions to fully understand and to avoid becoming impatient with each other knowing it would cause us to circle back around to attacking each other’s negative feelings. We knew that we did not want the relationship to end, so we continued to exchange messages and focus on our problems. Luckily, I was currently taking Interpersonal Communications and just learned of “The Stages of Conflict Resolution.” We took turns writing down the possible solutions to overcome our conflict and what we can do to deal with future conflicts as well. We began to test the solutions we had written down and continue to save the solutions to evaluate if the solution worked or if there is a way to modify the solution to work. Reflecting on our solutions, if one does not apply to the

Get Access