My partner, TJ, and I have been together for over five years and have faced many transitions during our relationship. From being long distance to moving in together, then later moving across the United States while continuing our personal goals and continuing our education to advancing our careers. Although we have been together for many years, we still find ourselves working most towards our communication skills due to the conflicts and arguments that are caused from the high stress of transitions and trying to focus on ourselves. While being aware of the balance needed to keep our relationship strong, we have learned that holding back from expressing what we feel from each other is not an effective strategy. The interpersonal conflicts that …show more content…
It was something that caught both of us off-guard and we were unable to define how to feel at that moment, other than anxiety. We were both extremely focused on our education and careers, so having a new experience was not something we were capable of grasping at that time. We were currently experiencing issues but avoiding them in hopes that they would disappear, but we did come to an agreement on keeping the baby until later I experienced a miscarriage. As for the feelings that were not able to be communicated during the beginning of the announcement of my pregnancy, I was incapable of expressing how hurt I felt from the miscarriage which distanced mine and TJ’s relationship tremendously. I became resentful and defensive over conversations and actions that were not relatable to the defined problem, and I would aim blame towards TJ with hurtful “you-messages” and walk away during a conflict to avoid my emotions from being seen by face. Our unproductive conflict strategies grew into more unproductive conflict strategies of silencing, where neither of us was able to deal with each other’s emotions without assuming that someone would lose control and say things that were unable to take back, which lead us to continue our avoidance of each …show more content…
We productively scheduled a time where we would both be free from work, school, and had the house to ourselves to discuss where we stood with our relationship. We focused our attention on the facts of our problems: our lack of communication, the stress that we both face daily, the loss of a child, and holding back from allowing each other to know how we feel. We actively focused on the current problems rather than the built-up emotions that lead to us losing control and we took turns listening to each other, empathizing on what we were feeling at that moment. If we had difficulty expressing ourselves, we would ask questions to fully understand and to avoid becoming impatient with each other knowing it would cause us to circle back around to attacking each other’s negative feelings. We knew that we did not want the relationship to end, so we continued to exchange messages and focus on our problems. Luckily, I was currently taking Interpersonal Communications and just learned of “The Stages of Conflict Resolution.” We took turns writing down the possible solutions to overcome our conflict and what we can do to deal with future conflicts as well. We began to test the solutions we had written down and continue to save the solutions to evaluate if the solution worked or if there is a way to modify the solution to work. Reflecting on our solutions, if one does not apply to the
Renita J. is a 56-year-old Caucasian heterosexual mature adult female who has 13 years of formal education and lives alone. Renita is self-referred due to experiencing an interpersonal conflict at her place of employment. She reports having worked as an independent contractor in the oilfield for approximately 20 years and has just recently transitioned into an office position. She reports that while she “gets along” with most of her co-workers there is one in particular that has posed a problem on at least one occasion. Renita states a desire to resolve the conflict but is unsure about how to go about doing it. She further reports having feelings of “slight anxiety” and that her sleep pattern has been mildly disrupted because of this.
Conflict is present in every marriage and household. Where there are people, you will find conflict. Balswick & Balswick (2014) define conflict as a “difference of opinion” and further explain that conflict is “a normal part of intimate relationships” (p.252). While this may be true, it is also vital to the unity of marriage and family to understand how we can resolve conflicts in healthy and constructive ways, where each individual has the freedom to share their opinion without feeling ignored or dismissed. When conflicts are continuously unresolved, or not dealt with at all, they can become destructive to the marriage and family, leaving a legacy of emotional distress. Conversely, when conflict arises and is dealt with constructively, balancing
The argument resulted in us breaking up our four month relationship. After the argument was over, I realize five communication barriers that took placed through-out our argument.
In conflict we often make the mistake of using our power to focus on the relationship or on the issue/ outcome we desire. The result is that we often attain one at the expense of the other. Our power may enable us to achieve our goal but damage or destroy the relationship. Alternatively, we may sustain the relationship at the expense of our needs or desired outcome. The ideal may be maintaining a healthy relationship while at the same time achieving our goal, but this requires a subtle and complex use of different kinds of power or perhaps not using the power at our disposal. This requires wisdom, self control and self discipline as well as skilled interpersonal behavior.
Interpersonal communication is defined as a vague term for the study of different relationships and how people are able to convey different information between each other. Relational dialectics and internal/external dialectics are the main studies of contractions that relate to interpersonal communication. Contradictions in communication are important because they show how two things are connected but are also opposed. I think it is very helpful that the book describes contradictions as knowing someone and understanding what it feels like to be with them because you were once able to strive and grow without them (Duck and McMahan, 2015). Relational dialects are the study of the importance of contradictions in different relationships. Internal dialects are the contradictions that are shown throughout a specific relationship. Whereas external dialects are the contradictions between two people, such as a couple, and the community around them or other couples (Duck and McMahan, 2015).
Interpersonal Conflict that are presented in the scenario are that Mr. Jones is having a difficult time with a certain student who is in special education. The issue is that Mr. Jones is unable to engage the student when teaching in the classroom. Mr. Jones is trying to find a solution where he can assist the child in becoming engaged academically and behavioral. In addition Ms. Claire, the assistance principal is not in favor of the other team member’s suggestions in resolving the conflict.
Handling conflict is a skill which can be learned. It requires practice, discipline and self-control. In the midst of conflict, most people forget the overall goal in addressing the conflict: Having your partner understand your feelings and resolving the disagreement. The more a couple can keep this goal in mind the less likely either will engage in criticism, yelling or name-calling. These behaviors only fuel the conflict (Managing Conflict in Your Relationship,
In an intimate relationship it is evident that there is a substantial difference between the man’s communication skill versus the woman’s. I became aware of this throughout my experience of Dating . My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We try to believe that we understand where we are both coming from but I believe our gender differences restricts us from completely understanding . He is very blunt , straight to the point and does not like arguing. I like to talk things through and have a structured conversation where we address all the points . When I’m upset I am not straight forward , sometimes I don't even feel like talking to him. These characteristic often clash because he excepts me to be frank and address
If you and your partner are not on the same page, how do you expect your relationship to last? When we try to manage and control another individual’s life, we expect a lot from our partner, and when those situations don’t meet our expectations, we become annoyed, cold, and angry and distant. When in relationships we can get so devoted to specific results, that we lose sight of all the little things that really important in our lives. The same applies to conflicts and disagreements. If we just step back for a minute and take a look at the big picture what being together truly mean to one another, being mindful will help you stay focused on all the positive outlets which help our relationships become more effective in the long run. Expressing
My second-best score of 15 out of 18. I am an excellent team-mate, if I may say so myself. My
The text suggest that there are four significant questions a therapist should ask which are critical when couples are considering treatment for their relationship issues. The most important question which should be brought up first is determining if counseling is appropriate for them at this time. There are several areas of concern when the therapist is approaching a couple seeking help which require the therapist to ask this question. The first concern is how the couple view themselves and the present situation. The second area of concern is the type of damage which has been done and whether it is internal or external. Lastly, did the damage which was committed cause the relationship to be unrepairable or is it salvageable?
It takes two individual to build a successful relationship. Relationships or marriage would be a success if the communications towards each other were strong. A strong and loving relationship is a source of great happiness in life. Unfortunately, a relationship that lacks communication can be a source of unhappiness. In addition, being in a relationship takes commitment, compromising and communication skills. Each individual has to share to each other their feelings and thoughts to know each other’s wants, and needs. Without shared understanding and lack of communication, the
Almost all my research stressed the fact that communication should be an evident factor in a relationship because communication trumps all. If couples could tell each other what they were feeling, what was going right or wrong in the relationship then some issues could be avoided. According to Ahlborg, and Strandmark (2001), they discovered that intimacy led to more calmness, but sexual intimacy wasn't as present as it was during the couple’s early stage of marriage. In the sense of communication, there is both intimate and physical communication. And although physical communication tends to be much more apparent during the transition to parenthood, my research sources suggested that couples should engage in forms of communication equally in order to maintain the balance of the relationship. New couples should turn towards their partner during communications, support them, listen to them, and apply reinforcement to show your commitment and devotion towards the marriage. By doing so, you are both able to communicate effectively with your partner by dealing and discussing issues that you are facing together ad also getting attached to each other both emotionally and
Communication is the number one key to a good relationship. When there is no communication between both parties involved in the relationship, that is when the relationship fails whether it is a man and a woman, or a child trying to divorce his/her parents or friends cutting their ties forever.
When I was taking the conflict resolution assessment I used my previous relationship as a guide for answering the questions. I came to the conclusion that due to my fear of conflict I was only creating more of a conflict for myself. Instead of making such an effort to avoid conflict within my relationship, I should’ve been more open and honest. With this relationship in particular, I never let my frustration and anger get to the surface. I kept it all bottled up inside and felt that the things I was getting upset over were silly and not worth fighting over. By not letting it be known that certain things were bothering me, my partner’s behavior stayed the same. Eventually, it caused us to grow distant and the relationship failed. I believe that if I had known then the proper way to resolve a conflict and communicate my feelings the relationship would’ve been healthier.