Balswick On Conflict

When you are in a relationship, arguments or disagreements can arise. They can often trigger strong emotions that lead to hurtful words and uneasiness. If these conflicts are not resolved in a healthy way, resentment and a dissolved relationship could follow. However, when they are resolved in a proper manner, it could promote growth between the couple and fortify the bonds of their relationship (Conflict Resolution Skills).

Marriage is oftentimes praised for all its good qualities, but people tend to avoid discussing the downsides of marriage in order to avoid discomfort. Confronting the problems that many couples face in marriage is hard, and most people find it easier to simply overlook any issues they may face to avoid furthering the problem. In “My Problem With Her Anger,” Eric Bartels elaborates on the struggles he and his wife face and what experiencing the effects of spousal anger feels like from a husband’s perspective. Through emotional appeal and anecdotes, Bartels semi-successfully argues that husbands are too often, and unfairly, on the receiving end of their wives’ anger and stress.

Conflict, confrontation, and problems are inevitable in human relationships. They will occur, like it or not, it is a part of life. The word of God reminds us in Luke 17:1 that offenses will diffidently come into our lives. However, we cannot allow them become trapped in our spirit because it will harm relationships with the offenders. For that reason, someone must take the initiative to address the breach in the relationship through effective confrontation. Again, to express the importance of resolving conflict and finding peace in relationships, the Lord declares in Psalms 133:1, 3 that he blesses those who dwell in unity. According to

A meeting with all involved parties to discuss the issue is also another good way to resolve conflict. Everyone will have a chance to speak; this is a good opportunity to hear all sides of the story and gain a full understanding of the conflict.

When a couple has been together for at least forty years, one may ask them, how have you put up with one person for so long, or what is your secret to marriage? Unfortunately, a secret may not even exist, but learning how to deal with everyday relationship conflicts, maybe the answer to a lasting marriage. “Gottman and Declaire, discovered that couples have conflict over the same issues sixty-nine percent of the time” (1997) (pg.214) Gottman quotes “We need to teach couples that they will never solve most of their problems, and that couples need to” establish a dialogue” about the problems.”(1997) (pg.214) Validating, volatile, and conflict avoiding, are three approaches couples use, when resolving conflict. Gottman studies show how managing conflict could lead to lasting marriages. Communication practices are also important when trying to resolve conflict. Gottman’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are “four communication practices that have very negative outcomes for the particular interaction and for the relationship.”(pg.225) Conflicts are going to occur in every relationship, but learning how to communicate with one another is essential.

Conflict is inevitable in any personal relationship or among members of any group. While we encounter many types of conflict in our lifetime, we often look for ways to avoid conflict. So, why do we run away from dealing with our conflict? It is often because many of us fear the conflict will escalate into a situation we will not be able to sustain. “As conflicts escalate, they go through certain incremental transformations. Although these transformations occur separately on each side, they affect the conflict as a whole because they are usually mirrored by the other side. As a result of these transformations, the conflict is intensified in ways that are sometimes exceedingly difficult to undo” (Pruitt, and Kim 89). We

Listening to your partner can save your marriage. If you and your partner have an agreement give each other time to cool down. It is important to fight constructively. There is no marriage free of conflict. Conflicts can and will arise from time to time it is to be expected. Conflict can stem from finances, children, and jobs. It is best not to point finger swat the other person. In your marriage you have to be

Separate assessments of my conflict style reveal that I have become primarily attuned with the integrating style of conflict management, which came as no surprise to me, as I found the results of the assessments to be accurate. However, the assessments also showed that I was nearly equal in the compromising style, leading them to be a near tie. I would be the first to admit that his has not always been the case. It has taken a fair amount of life experience and focused effort in order to move away from the predominate style of compromise

There are many ways to resolve conflict. Each of these different ways are effective in their own ways. Most of these methods can resolve conflict better in some situations than others. These ways include having a middle man, staying positive, listening to all parties and compromising, and just ignoring the conflict. By far the universally best way to resolve conflict is by staying calm and positive. Some works that show this are “Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat” by Winston Churchill, and “Dear Miss Breed” by Joanne Oppenheim. Keeping positive is not only the best way to resolve conflict, there are many benefits to staying positive.

Places value on individualism, self-assertion, and competition. Not common in cultures that prioritize cooperation, keep others from failing, finding areas of agreement

In conflict we often make the mistake of using our power to focus on the relationship or on the issue/  outcome we desire.  The result is that we often attain one at the expense of the other.  Our power may enable us to achieve our goal but damage or destroy the relationship.  Alternatively, we may sustain the relationship at the expense of our needs or desired outcome.  The ideal may be maintaining a healthy relationship while at the same time achieving our goal, but this requires a subtle and complex use of different kinds of power or perhaps not using the power at our disposal.  This requires wisdom, self control and self discipline as well as skilled interpersonal behavior.

Conflict need not be catastrophic or personal conflicts are simply part of being human. Deal with issues as they arise, avoiding conflict makes situations worse. Time does not resolve matters instead it decreases the chance of a positive outcome. Attempt to understand the other person's point of view because dismissing the other's views, assigning blame, and exclusive focus on your own perspective are all counterproductive. Do not judge emotions, no one's feelings are more or less “right” than the other. Emotions reflect a valid perspective of an individual even if you don't understand it; acknowledge the other person's reaction as important. Focus on the behavior, situation or problem area without attacking the person involved. Do not assume your values or beliefs are “right”, they reflect a view of the world from your unique perspective. Respecting another's viewpoint as equally valuable opens an opportunity for learning and growth (Lifetips moving up in life, 2000).

Beaton, Norris, and Pratt (2003) support this by claiming that unresolved issues do not necessarily cause tension in the family. “From our perspective, conflict refers to those issues in relationships that couples overtly verbally or nonverbally express continually” (Beaton, Norris, & Pratt, 2003, p. 144). Although they focus on intergenerational communications within the family, they point out that unresolved issues concerning intergenerational differences can create problems in marital relationships. So it is more important to focus on reasons why individuals choose to create continuous conflict, and why it is so important to impose personal opinions and beliefs on other people. Understanding what determines human behavior is the only way to understand why

Conflict theory is the theory that human behavior in social contexts is the result of conflicts between competing groups, as different social groups, be they class-, gender- or race-defined, have unequal power and access to power, yet all groups compete for limited resources. This inevitably gives rise to tension and conflict, albeit often of the subtle variety, as oftentimes the conflicts between groups have been institutionalized in society to such a degree that the conflicts and tensions are such an expected part of society that the conflict, and inequality, itself disappears from public sight, and consciousness. For example, an adherent of a world systems theory of conflict would point to the global competition for resources, particularly the inequality between rich and poor nations struggling to provide the basic necessities of life to their inhabitants, as evidence of global conflict. Conflict theories seek to explain the interactions of groups within society, and assert that social order is preserved involuntarily through the exercise of power one social class holds over another (Lindsey, 2010, 7). The conflict between groups is not always obvious or apparent, so it must be unraveled and examined in order to identify and establish the impact of such conflict on society as a whole, as well as individual members and social groupings.

Conflict should always be dealt with and not ignored because the results can lead to unresolved feelings of hostility, anger, stress, and resentment. Effectively managing conflict will promote a happier and healthier unit while promoting a