Marital Satisfaction Is Not Static For Most People

As stated in our text, various factors can bind married couples together, such as economic interdependencies, legal, social and moral constraints, relationship, and amongst other things. In the recent years some of these factors have diminished their strengths. The modern generation sees marriage in a different perspective altogether. Individuals today feel they are stable independently, they do not need to rely on their spouse for emotional or financial support. Many are career driven and soar to conquer their dreams over settling down with a family. Such untraditional views have increased divorce rates.

Marriage has been constantly changing over the past centuries. Currently, trends in marriage have adopted a new way of getting married through splitting responsibilities and work, resulting in social freedom for individuals. "The Myth of Co-Parenting,” by Hope Edelman demonstrates the difficulties of taking all the responsibilities while in “ My Problem with Her Anger,” explains the needs of having a better understanding of each other. Due to marriage changing over the last centuries, marriage couples desire individuals’ expectations and freedom to be met in marriage.

We question the relation between premarital cohabitation and divorce. From looking at literature regarding this question I hypothesize that time and social change determines cohabitation and divorce.

In life many individuals will experience the joys of marital bliss with the pleasure of happiness when they see their spouse, the thought of living their entire lives together, starting and raising a family, the process of buying their first home together as a married couple, and overall embarking on a new and profound journey with the one they love; on the contrary however many of these same couples will encounter times in the relationship and within their immediate family that will include feelings of: being overwhelmed, stressed, annoyed with their spouse, children, stepchildren “as many families are blended due to many first marriages ending in divorce after children have been conceived,” stress from work, bills, as well as the many other

Patz attends a seminar about Ted Huston’s Process of Adaptation in the Intimate Relationships (PAIR) project. In 1981, he followed 168 couples from their wedding day to 13 years later. Huston claims

Relationship satisfaction is an important part of romantic relationships. A lack of satisfaction can lead to consequences in other areas of life and eventually, the destruction of the relationship. For example, job performance is heavily influenced by romantic relationship satisfaction. In a study by Greenhaus and Beutell (1985), they argued that poor satisfaction leads to poor job performance and vice versa. They stated this was to because these two spheres are “interdependent.” Satisfaction can also influence quality of health. Conflict in a marital relationship is associated with higher heart rates and blood pressure (Broadwell & Light, 1999; Ewart, Taylor, Kaemer & Agras, 1991; Flor, Breitenstein, Birbaumer & Furst 1995; Frankish & Linden, 1996; Kiecolt-Glaser, 1993; Mayne, O’Leary, McCrady, Contrada & Labouvie, 1997; Morell & Apple, 1990; Shwartz, Slater & Birchler, 1994; Thomsen & Gilbert, 1998). It is also strongly associated with depression and depressed syndromes (Beach, Fincham & Katz, 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). This relationship between marital conflict and depression seems to be bidirectional meaning depression is not only a result of conflict but also is caused by the conflict (Beach, et. al., 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). Because a lack of relationship satisfaction can negatively affect so many important areas of life, it is important to understand what influences the level of satisfaction held in romantic relationships.

In Aviva Patz’s “Will Your Marriage Last?” she proposes that marriages can be predicted to either succeed or end in divorce based on certain factors. Based off of a lecture she attended at the American Psychological Association convention in Boston, Patz presents the idea that a marriage’s success can be determined within the first two years and if the relationship shows disillusionment or the “enduring dynamics model.” Patz’s article does not effectively prove her stance on if a marriage can be predicted to last, but rather exemplifies doubt as to if she personally believes in the ideas she offers.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Unsatisfied with their partners results in divorce rates and infidelity. These have increased over the years, blemishing the institution of marriage. People may believe that compromises and self sacrifice in a marriage make it a failed institute but the same reasons make a marriage successful. A married man has a constant in his life- his partner. The security and companionship in the relationship helps him achieve happiness. The same sharing is now a pleasure, a way to prevent loneliness (Argyle; 1999). Marriage is known to cause greater satisfaction, greater self esteem and less distress. Evidence shows that married men and women are happier.

When reading Chapter 14 on page 264, the authors indulged in a discussion on marital adjustments. Marriage is influenced by many factors that take effective of marital adjustments. As stated in the text, there are influences at three different levels. Individuals, family, and social. One of the most important factors influencing martial adjustments over the cycle of life is, addition. At the individual level, the developmental trajectory of both spouses; their level of self-management, emotional, financial, educational and interpersonal competence, the values and beliefs they have about marriage, about the acceptable role of men and women, and the equity in relationships. The family level, marital adjustments are influenced by the relationships

Relationships are can be very important for a person’s happiness or may have in some ways thought to be important for happiness. One thing that is thought to make a person happy is marriage. Even though marriage has a great influence on a person’s life it doesn’t make them necessarily happy (Stein A37-A40). A person that is married is generally someone who was already happy but if a person is unsociable or lonely the person may become happier. Marriage can make a person less happy if they expect too much of the other person or think that the person is perfect. A person may become happier by having close relationships and acting kind and grateful but to remain happy the person needs to keep doing these actions and continuing these relationships to continue being happy (Wallis A2-A9). As a child a person must make many relationships to be successful resilient. If a person is abused as a child the person does not have good relationship and may not always grow up happy. If a child has someone to support or encourage the child they will be more likely to be happy this person is called a champion (Gorman A52-A55). A person that has a negative attitude can cause bad relationships and can also cause others to be unhappy. Because of this idea a person must choose a person that can be

With reformed cultural standards, relationships no longer represent former ideals and characteristics of a standard marriage. Marriage does not rest as a societal expectation, but rather as a decision built through personal will. In the scenario, Mark and Wendy represent a married couple, freshly graduated from college, that portray a traditional style relationship, with Wendy staying at home, while Mark works towards his career. While their relationship initiated in college, trailed by cohabitating and marriage, it no longer retains successful marriage qualities. This deteriorating happiness conversion, which will continue over the next 10 years, subsists explained in a few simple steps: current trends, gender roles, and attachment styles.

     Marital satisfaction and the contributing factords are of extreme importance at this juncture in our society, though it has become obvious that there is a degeneration of communication and a lack of satisfaction in today’s married couples. This disatisfaction results in the divorce rate being sohigh that it begs the question: how does this marital satisfaction originate?

Suppressing thoughts and emotions creates a subconscious tension in the mind, and it is possible that this tension causes a new argument in the future. However, as the research by Carnstensen, Gottman, and Levenson (1995) states, older couples have learned to let the other person retain their beliefs and opinions. This behavior allows them to achieve a happy marriage, unlike those couples which respond aggressively to differences in their personal opinions. However, this research does not state why people introduce possessive and dominant behavior in their relationships. This behavior can only lead to arguments and negative emotions in a marriage.

Is every relationship perfect? Eric Swanson asked individuals about their marriage and their responses were surprising. “Amazingly, and consistently nearly 97 percent of married couples answer, “very happy” or “pretty happy… A mere 3-4 percent today would say they are “not too happy” (Swanson). True love is supposed to last a lifetime, but for the three percent remaining of unhappy couples results in divorce. Divorce is a negative decision because children develop stress and unstable futures; nevertheless we can solve the issues of divorce by visiting marriage counselors, communicating with one another, and partaking in trail marriages