After carefully going through the attachment styles on pages 46 – 48, I have both avoidant and secure attachment style tendencies. Focusing primarily on the secure attachment style, of which I did in fact relate to the most, it is described as those who “[a]ren’t afraid of emotions”, “[a]re willing to seek and accept comfort from other people”, “[t]ake responsibility for themselves”, “[k]now that relationships can be safe and that knowledge gives them courage for love and intimacy”, and “[f]ind the courage to act when action is needed” (Clinton, Sibcy 65). While this list does not fully describe those who have a secure attachment style, it does include the majority of the characteristics. The secure attachment style can be observed through
The three prototypes explored are avoidant, anxious-ambivalent, and secure attachments which describes how partners will behave in close relationships and how caring and supportive each individual is within their relationship. Avoidant attached individuals are withdrawn from relationships and untrustworthy of others. Anxious-Ambivalent individuals worry often about their partner’s needs being fulfilled as well as theirs and analyze if they’re moving too fast in the relationship when compared to their partner. Secured individuals are completely trustworthy of their partner and confident in their feelings and
There are several different attachment styles. Secure is an attachment style when an individual feels confident and has trust in their relationship. Avoidant is an attachment style when an individual is unsure about getting into in a relationship. Anxious attachment style is where individuals demand closeness and have trust issues.
You have excellent points about the secure attachment style! Secure relationships are built on trust and confidence in one's self and others. I liked how you displayed a scenario about how a secure relationship is handled under stress. Instead of avoiding Bill, Sally confronted him with the issue. If she had another attachment style, she would have blown up in his face or stop talking to him and shut him out. However, since she has a secure relationship style, she confronted him about the issue with controlled anger. Secure people can become angry but their anger springs from hope. This confrontation will help them resolve the situation and relieve the tension between them!
Main and Solomon devised the fourth attachment style which has been discussed in the John Bowlby theory. (Main and Solomon -
I would like to think that I have a secure attachment style, which I do in certain instances. Of course that is my endeavor, to have a secure attachment style, which everybody should try to do also; however, I find myself exhibiting a mixture of two other attachment styles. The first style I have a propensity to exhibit is the disorganized attachment style, the second is the avoidant attachment style. While I do not think I am as bad as I was before, I still struggle with the two. Taking this course has helped me put a name to the characteristics I show.
He also suggests that 0-5 years is the critical period for a child to develop attachment with the primary caregiver. The primary care giver often time can be their mother. It is very important for a child to develop attachment in these years otherwise failure to do so can cause the child to suffer from irreversible developmental consequences. Such consequences can be reduced intelligence, increased aggression and attachment disorder.
The insecure/preoccupied anxious attachment style preoccupied, and they seek approval from their partners. They tend to extremely clingy; consequently, pushing the person away with their self-doubts and insecurities. Individuals who have fearful/avoidant attachment style tend to have suffered abuse or sexual abuse, and they want close relationships, nonetheless they cannot bring themselves to be intimate with other people.
They are not bothered by small issues. When a person has a secure attachment, they are capable of developing very trusting, and lasting relationships. They usually have good self-esteem also. They are comfortable sharing with their family and friends. Securely attached adults tend to have a good view of themselves, and their relationships with others. They feel comfortable balancing intimacy and independence, without any issues. This style of attachment usually results from a history of warm and responsive interactions with relationship partners. They often talk about experiencing more fulfilling relationships than people with other attachment styles. Being reliable and consistent, people who are secure may seem boring at first to those with other styles because there is little drama in their love lives, but secure people have a stabilizing effect on those with less secure styles and they report the highest level of satisfaction in their relationships.
After taking the quiz, I was surprised to find that I have a secure attachment style. I personally do not think how I was raised contributed to this at all. The way I was raised was very avoidant. My parents didn't encourage me and I did not share my feelings with them often, or at all. I was constantly afraid of being made fun of by them so I didn't share my opinions or thoughts very often. I did not like it when they were mad at me, so I would try my very best to always be on my best behavior. I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years though and I feel like that has really effected my attachment style. He is very supportive and is aware of my needs to be reassured, so I do not often worry about him leaving me or not paying close
There are three types of attachment styles which are secure, insecure: avoidant, and insecure: anxious (Paloutzian, 2017, pg. 89). During the Easter ceremony I had the opportunity to watch a baptism of a child who surround by her parents and family members. The baby became a bit restless and at that moment both parents took steps to calm her by taking turns rocking her back and forth until she felt comforted. According the course recordings, a secure attachment is when a caregiver responds to a child’s needs, provides safety in times of trouble, and is less likely to convert to a different religion. Thus, this baby is likely to grow up to be securely attached to her parents as they are responsive to her needs and are emotionally available (Veenvliet,
Each attachment style is divided along two dimensions – the fear of abandonment and the fear of closeness. Bartholomew and Horowitz define fear of abandonment as the model of self which describes the belief of an individual to be either “worthy of love and support or not” (1991). They also define fear of closeness as the model of other which describes an individual’s
The theoretical model is the basis for understanding positive communication and positive relationships between the child and parent. Understanding how an attachment affects communication between the child and parent, we must look into the attachment theory. The first step towards creating positive communication is establishing a secure attachment between the child and parent. Establishing a secure attachment occurs very early on in the child’s life, while the child is still in the mother’s womb. In almost every situation the primary attachment figure is the mother, the father being the secondary figure, but that is not the case in every situation. When a child has a secure attachment they are more likely to trust others and have better relationships with the people around them, including their parents. When a child grows up with a secure attachment they are more likely to open up and share aspects of their life with their parents. This sets up the building
If you get a child, how do you raise your child? It is important for child to be raised by parents. Because it depends on parents if a child become an adult who is great. I think parents should take a communication with a secure attachment style. According to textbook (p45), this style is the most positive style in Style of Attachment (FIGURE2.2). This style has many good point each other. In my case, if I become a mother and get a child, I will try to take a communication with this style. I will write down some situations that are attachment style. And I will use the website called Happy Life Style.
At the beginning of the course the class was introduced the concept of attachment styles. Attachment styles are the types of behavior displayed in relationships shaped by a two-part set of basic assumptions, conclusion, or core beliefs about one’s self and others. In laymen’s terms it is how one person interacts with another either God, spouse, child, friend, or even self. There are four different types of attachment styles and they are: secure, ambivalent, disorganized, and secure. The relationship style that all should aspire to be a secure attachment style, however I would classify myself as having an ambivalent attachment style. This is the attachment style where I believe I am not worthy of love since I am flawed. It also takes the assumption that I will not be able to get the love I need without being angry or clingy.
Those with insecure attachments tend to have lower relationship satisfaction compared to those who are securely attached. Those who have a secure attachment style provide a caregiving role, their behaviors are responsive and sensitive, non-controlling and show interest during interactions. Secures are affectionate with touch, enjoy physical contact (intimate & sexual) and are willing to ask for support. Individuals with an insecure anxious attachment are more self-focused and always looking for approval and support from their partner regardless of low and high stress situations. Anxious attachment individuals are also over caring and hyper vigilant. Lastly, individuals with an avoidant attachment value independence and have low levels of self-disclosure. Avoidant individuals are less likely to use touch to express affection and are uncomfortable with intimate sexual contact. In short, being aware of your attachment style and your partners can shed light on marital conflict and possible solutions and corrective behaviors to better marital