Summary: Part II: And the Word Was Made Flesh [The Day — In Front of My Locker]

Xiomara and Aman kiss in the park. She reflects that for so long boys have used their words to tell her what they’d like to do to her body but that for the first time she has those desires with Aman. On the train ride home, Aman invites her to a Halloween party. Xiomara doesn’t tell Aman that she isn’t allowed to date and avoids making concrete plans with him. She feels like people will be able to see their kiss by looking at her. She avoids looking people in the eye but knows that, if there is a God, he saw her kissing Aman at the park and knows she enjoyed it. When Xiomara began developing, Mami had told her she needed to pray so that her body wouldn’t tempt men. Now, though, she wants to do those physical things with Aman.

At confirmation, Father Sean asks whether Xiomara is OK. They have a conversation about doubt, and Xiomara learns Father Sean didn’t get to say goodbye when his mother died. Later, Xiomara asks if Twin knows this information. She asks Twin who he’s texting. He tells her they are both going to be in trouble if their parents learn what they’re doing. She wonders how they would react if Twin brought a boy home.

Twin comes home with a black eye, but he silently asks Xiomara to help him when Mami questions him. She is mad that he hasn’t told her he was being picked on. Xiomara asks Caridad and Twin to cover for her so she can go to the Halloween party with Aman. She wears Aman’s Green Lantern shirt, which is too tight. Aman, dressed as the Hulk, dances with Xiomara at the party. Aman asks her to come home with him, but she says she isn’t feeling well and needs to get home. Caridad and Twin wait on her to go home, and Xiomara texts that she can’t be happy while breaking the rules. After Mass the next day, Xiomara goes to Caridad’s house to braid her hair. They watch TV in silence, and Xiomara notes that friends give each other “a home when they don’t want to be in their own.”

Xiomara visits Twin’s school to fight whoever hurt him. She sees him affectionately walking with a redheaded boy, and she understands what she’s already known. He tells Xiomara to leave it alone, but she hears, “Leave me alone.” Xiomara knows she can’t fight forever, but she thought Twin would learn to fight for himself eventually, not find “someone else to protect him.” On the train home, they don’t talk. Xiomara knows their parents will react very poorly if they find out. She also admits to herself that she’s always known Twin was gay. She wonders if her silence made him feel more alone. She isn’t sure what to do next.

For her rough draft of Assignment 3, Xiomara writes about Mami being misunderstood by society. Mami moved to the United States with nothing, not knowing the language, and has worked hard and not taken no for an answer. But once Xiomara developed, Mami changed toward her, as though she wanted to make Xiomara into the nun she didn’t get to become. Xiomara’s final draft is about Nicki Minaj, who writes positive lyrics about sex and her body. In class, Xiomara learns about a citywide poetry slam that will be happening in February. She wants to compete.

When Twin and Xiomara were small, Mami would take them ice skating for their birthday. They were both good at skating, and it became a tradition for a time. Aman, who loves winter sports, asks her to go skating on a day when they have no school. Xiomara invites Twin, but he is still upset. They skate together, and Xiomara learns that Aman is an amazing self-taught skater. Xiomara thinks about what people could be if they weren’t shamed and discouraged into accepting all kinds of limitations. After skating, Aman and Xiomara kiss on the train. When she gets home, she can hear Mami, who has seen her kissing Aman, yelling inside. She goes to her room and tries to make herself “small, small, small.”

Papi calls her a “cuero,” a “whore,” but she doesn’t bring up how the block whispers about his past exploits. He calls her the names kids have called her since she grew breasts. Twin asks what she did, but she doesn’t look at him: that will make him cry, and then he’ll be in trouble too. He stands and balls his fists as Mami comes, and Xiomara tells him she didn’t do anything wrong. Mami drags her to the altar of Mary and makes her kneel on rice. Xiomara thinks about how ants can survive anything, but she’s not an ant. Mami says Xiomara wants to go off to college just to have sex with boys. She calls her a “cuero” too, and Xiomara hopes she is one, since “a cuero is a loose thing” that can fly away.

Mami says that men’s hands are always dirty, even Adam, who was made of clay. She prays while her daughter kneels on the rice. Xiomara thinks about watching Papi peel an orange, about Mami’s rough hands, and remembers when Mami would tell her she was her reward. She thinks of Papi and Twin saying nothing. She thinks kissing shouldn’t hurt this much. Afterward, Twin gives her frozen veggies for her knees and tells her to try to be good until they can escape. Mami has taken Xiomara’s phone and money and will force her to confess to Father Sean. Still, Xiomara wants Aman and wonders whether she’d take the abuse to be with him again. The next day, Xiomara is verbally and physically harassed by a group of boys in the hall. She sees Aman watching and thinks he will stand up for her because he knows how this hurts her, but he just stands there. She threatens the boy who touched her and tells Aman to stay away.

Analysis: Part II: And the Word Was Made Flesh [Wants — In Front of My Locker]

This section develops the theme of Xiomara’s self-awareness, sexuality, and independence. After she kisses Aman, something inside her shifts. She realizes that she likes the feelings he creates in her, whereas before she avoided them. Aman, unlike the other boys she’s encountered, never pushes when she stops him. He doesn’t pressure her, which is what Xiomara expects based on what Mami has told her about men.

Twin has conflict of his own, as he is openly gay at school, which Xiomara discovers. Both know that this will not be tolerated by their parents, and Xiomara realizes that he may be in even more trouble than she will be if they learn he is gay. She isn’t sure even she will be able to protect him from this. This section shows the struggle between living up to their conservative, religious community’s expectations and the sexual revolutions both Xiomara and Twin are experiencing within themselves. Both are defying the rules and experiencing the shame that comes with that but also gaining a greater understanding of their own sexuality and individualism.

Ice skating represents freedom and happier, less complicated times to Xiomara. That Aman also loves it strengthens their connection. Aman’s father’s rejection of his interest is relatable to both. Xiomara has a larger realization that it isn’t only her body that is subject to rules but that people’s bodies are largely controlled by societal expectations. Meanwhile, the dynamic between Mami and Xiomara reaches a point of conflict in this section. When Xiomara writes about her mother in the assignment, she demonstrates how Mami’s strict, potentially abusive past is being passed on to the next generation. She also seems to be being punished for Mami’s sins and regrets. Mami makes her wish she were an ant, small and strong enough to survive Mami’s wrath.