According to the American Psychological Association, forty to fifty percent of married couples in the United States divorce. One reason couples might divorce can be because of communication in the relationship. Being able to express yourself when an issue occurs and being understood by your significant other is very important in a relationship. Although communication may seem like an easy task, many people lack this everyday skill. A person’s childhood and past experiences may affect one’s adulthood making communication difficult in a relationship. In the song “Family Portrait” by American songwriter and singer P!nk, she emphasizes the difficulties she faced growing up with the constant arguments between her parents. Line two “Your pain is
Lapses in communication are something everyone has had personal experience with. While reading, a previous relationship kept popping into my head. As Tannen wrote about some of the communication issues in her marriage, I couldn’t stop myself from drawing parallels between our former relationships. The
Healthy communication means communicating one another’s feelings when things need to change. “The wedding ceremony formally instructs each spouse to love and to cherish his mate; clearly an instruction that requires high communication, not only of information but also of feelings (Senn).”
About 17% of divorces are caused by infidelity (“Cheating”)! Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. Unfortunately, lack of communication can be a lead cause to infidelity. Couples who lack communication or common interests act out to other people. He or she find someone that is easier to talk to or someone who is more attractive. Sometimes these acts only happen once because the gilt gets to them, or they continue to see this other person until their spouse finds out. Children with cheating parents either follow in their footsteps or become the better person.
This article by Deborah Tannen, written in 1990, addresses the differences between the communication styles of men and women and some of the ensuing problems that arise from these divergent behaviors. The article asserts "that although men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home. And this pattern is wreaking havoc with marriage" (p. 474). Research indicates that a majority of women state a lack of communication as the reason for seeking divorce as compared to only a few of the men. With the divorce rate at 50 percent the author says there is a "virtual epidemic of failed conversation" (p. 474) in America.
Although communication can be challenging, understanding what communication is, how each of you communicate, the power of verbal and nonverbal expressions, the ability to listen, control emotions and understanding misconceptions, there are ways to make improvements for a healthier relationship.
Most marriages end because of a lack of communication and it is really sad because most people are a perfect match, but they do not work because of the lack of communication.
Circe has warned us about the Sirens, on this part of our journey. They lure sailors with their voices and get them off track and stay there. I asked my men to tie me up to the ship and fill my ears with earwax, so i will not be tempted or lured. My men were very loyal and did not untie me even if I was begging them to. I was just concerned that I would not arrive home if I heard their voices. We finally got past that part of the sea and my men could untie me. I am glad that we stayed on track the whole time.
In the first chapter of her book, You Just Don't Understand, Men and Women in Conversation, Deborah Tannen quotes, "...studies have shown that married couples that live together spend less than half an hour a week talking to each other...". (24) This book is a wonderful tool for couples to use for help in understanding each other. The two things it stresses most is to listen, and to make yourself heard. This book opened my eyes to the relationship I am in now, with a wonderful person, for about four years. It made me realize that most of our little squabble-like fights could have been avoided, if one or the other of us could sit down and
It takes two individual to build a successful relationship. Relationships or marriage would be a success if the communications towards each other were strong. A strong and loving relationship is a source of great happiness in life. Unfortunately, a relationship that lacks communication can be a source of unhappiness. In addition, being in a relationship takes commitment, compromising and communication skills. Each individual has to share to each other their feelings and thoughts to know each other’s wants, and needs. Without shared understanding and lack of communication, the
The final cause of recently increasing divorce is lack of communication. Owing to financial status in each family, many people are fairly busy. For this reason, they have inadequate time to talk to their spouse about their problems. Consequently, that usually causes divorce. Some couples are often quiet when they have problems with each other. Soon their little problems expand to big problems, resulting in divorce. Maybe if people communicated more with their partner divorce rates would be increasing so drastically.
Communication is a vital part of everyday life. Without communication we would not be allowed to express feelings, needs or even wants. Communication is more complicated than just speaking to one another. Some families suffer from the lack of communication and it is most important to keep a good communication flow through families.
Lack of communication can have a domino effect of problems, starting off with partners being distant and
Another author who specializes in concept of achieving ability to communicate better in the relationships is Susan Page. She has a master?s degree in theology and has directed women?s programs at the University of California at Berkeley. Page is an expert in conducting relationships workshops, she is mostly concern with learning communication rules. The communication rules are very helpful for the relationship to last for a long period of time. Learning those rules will help people give more to the spouse they love. People communicate every day, learning how to talk to each other could be very helpful for a healthy relationship. By implementing the right techniques to resolve conflicts and start understanding each other will help couples achieve their goals. Fallowing Page?s rules gives couples ability to resolve conflicts, arguments and understand what they might want from their life. Susan Page gets her expertises from workshops discussions, interviews with happily married couples and her own personal experiences. Page statistically found out that many couples have poor knowledge on how to communicate with
Conflicts which lead to unresolved issues can influence the quality of the marriage. Although several research was made on marital relationships, the factors which influence the arising of continuous conflicts are still not clear. Unresolved issues are problems which are continuously brought up in a marriage. However, marital conflicts are not the only source of unresolved issues in a relationship. Unresolved conflicts within the marriage can affect the longevity and quality of the marriage, but personal background and individual trauma contribute to marital problems more often than conflicts within the marriage. In fact, marital conflicts are usually started because of personal unresolved issues. If a person develops a behavioral property
A Prominent saying state – “Good Communication is the key to a healthy relationship or marriage”; whether it may be verbal or non-verbal. Many marriages end up in divorce, because of neglecting to communicate